All Roads Lead to Us (Street Racers #1)

4: Yeeun

It's not yet fully real to me that I am sitting on a bench along the road I have driven on for hours before, and Jungkook is driving up and down the curved road of a hill, getting back into the 'spirit of racing'. And I am getting into the spirit of being Jungkook's fake girlfriend.

It's not yet fully real to me that we are spending time together again, even though he still clearly hates me. And that we are supposed to pretend to be a couple. And that he is back to racing to win with Taehyung. And that he stood up for me.

Everything that happened that day feels like a different dimension.

I thought the prize-deal with the worst that could have happened. I should have just gone to jail, and all this mess could be easily avoided. My dad would be sad, but I'd have nothing to do with neither Taehyung nor Jungkook.

I don't understand him. First, he tells me he loves me. Then, makes it look I am the bad guy, because I couldn't be with him. Then decides that the best way to tackle this horrible situation is to pretend he is my boyfriend. If he hates me so much for rejecting him, why would he help me in the first place? Can't he just be happy karma reached me, or whatever?

Not like I had to agree. I could have told everyone Jungkook has lost his mind, go with Taehyung and do whatever he wanted to do with me. And it would be over. Yet I didn't. I stayed silent when he was pulling us both into this madness, so the only person I can blame now is myself.

I hate to admit that I didn't want to stop this at all. Because seeing Jungkook again after four months was like coming back home. He can hate me all he wants, and I may be pissed at him for breaking a promise and leaving, but it doesn't change the fact that we have grown up together. From the earliest days, he was my best friend, and life without him is just empty.

So if I can have him back, not even as a friend but a guy who hates me, why would I say no? Well, I could make a list of reasons to say 'no', but I would end up following him to hell and back anyways. What's the point of a list, then?

The only thing I need to keep in check is that whole relationship. Pretending to be a couple still involves things that couples do. I need to do everything not to let it into my heart. If I let any feelings develop, like I once did, it will be over. Maybe I can have him back as a friend one day, but anything past that is not acceptable.

Friends are friends. Friends don't fall in love.

After a hundredth round, Jungkook parks the Porsche next to the bench, turns it off, and leaves the car. "Does it look like four months ago?"

"You're asking me for an opinion?"

He rolls his eyes, leans against the door of the driver's seat. "I didn't ask you to come here for nothing. Looks like four months ago or worse?"

I hold back the urge to be even more of a bitch. I hate his attitude. I hate knowing he's the complete opposite of that. And I hate that I don't fully understand him, but for fuck's sake, we are best friends.

Or maybe we were best friends, and he used to be different. My best friend left after I said we can't be together and never came back.

"Better."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It looks like you have more control."

"Good," he says, slipping back into the car. "Time me now."

"Did I come here to serve you?" I mumble. I've never been so comfortable yet uncomfortable with somebody, and the somebody being Jungkook makes it unbearable. It's him, but at the same time it's not, and I may fall apart before the season ends.