All Roads Lead to Us (Street Racers #1)

four months ago

Yeeun doesn't know why Jungkook would suddenly want to see her in the middle of the night. They've parted ways for the day three hours ago, and now he's blowing up her phone to let her know he's outside and needs to talk to her.

But she leaves her apartment without a second thought, wrapped in a hoodie, as quietly as possible, not to make a fuss in the building in the middle of the night.

"We've been together three hours ago and you couldn't tell me then?" she asks in a whisper, scared of making the stray cats pick up on the noise and wake the neighborhood.

"I know. I... was scared, okay? I couldn't tell you earlier, but I will lose my mind if I don't tell you this."

He looks like he could break down any second, and Yeeun softens. She would listen to him at any given moment of the day if that's what Jungkook needs.

"Okay, what is it?" she asks.

Jungkook holds his breath, eyes locked with Yeeun. Warmth drains from her, as if to let her know nothing good will come out of this.

"We are best friends, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course," she says reassuringly, but Jungkook shakes his head, his voice trembles.

"I hate it."

Her heart drops to her feet, and she needs a few quiet seconds to pull it back to where it's supposed to be. The night suddenly darkens, like it's an eerie scene from a movie. The wind too strong, too loud, she feels like someone's going to jump her with an axe in a second.

"What?" she asks.

"I hate that we are best friends, because I am in love with you." His eyes are closed, tighter with each word, palms rolled into fists.

And Yeeun is sure someone has already attacked her, cracked her heart in half. "Jungkook..."

No, they have always been best friends. They are best friends. They have to stay best friends, and best friends only. There is no more levels for them to step up the game. That's it.

"Please, Yeeun." He takes a step forward, and freezes when she steps back. He knows what she's going to say, but doesn't let it into his head. Not yet. It's too early. Yeeun want to yell at him to get his act together. How can he throw their friendship out of the window now? How can he be in love with her?

"Jungkook... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but... I can't say the same," she says, voice cracking with every syllable. Lying isn't a skill she's mastered. But she knows how it ends. It always ends like that. Friends cannot love each other in any different way than friendly, and if they do, they must keep it to themselves, and bury it before anyone gets a glimpse into their feelings. Friends cannot become something more. Friends have to stay friends if they care enough about their friendship.

Jungkook gulps and drops his head. Shivers run down his spine. He doesn't like it. He hates it.

"I'm... no, I'm sorry," he says, taking a step back, hoping she'll pull him back in. She doesn't. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... done this. I'm sorry."

"Jungkook..." It hurts. She's the reason his heart will be broken, but she is the only one he tends to when he's in pain. It's not going to be like that this time. He's going to hurt alone, and she hates it. "We'll stay friends, yeah?"

He forces a small smile on his face, and nods. "Yeah. We will."

"Promise."

"I promise." He whispers, no conviction in his voice. "I have to go, Yeeun. See you tomorrow."

He's gone faster than the wind, faster than the motion sensitive light turns dark above Yeeun when she stands there, trembling. He promised, but why can't she believe that promise? The air has shifted with his one sentence. I am in love with you. She can't move, afraid if she does, it will become true. And once it becomes true, she will have lost her best friend forever.

--

He promised, but there he is, walking past Yeeun like they don't know each other's names. Like twenty years side by side have been a dream she woke up from when he said it. And Yeeun cannot believe that. She doesn't want to. It's a race night. They are supposed to be having fun.

"Haven't you seen me? I'm literally here." She forces a chuckle, for normalcy, wrapping her arm around his shoulders, but he pushes her off.

"I saw you," Jungkook says, not looking at her, not smiling at her.

"And you won't even say 'hi'?" She lies to herself that everything is alright, nothing changed. But she knows everything did that night. Even if he promised.

"Leave me alone," he says, rolling his eyes, and Yeeun stops following him.

Ache in her chest makes her chuckle bitter. "Wow, really? That's how you're going to act now? Like you hate me?"

He stops walking, but doesn't turn. Doesn't answer.

Yeeun's skin feels like ice, her body feels too heavy to keep carrying it around. "Do you actually hate me? Because of what I said?"

No answer. No reaction from him. A hell lot of pain for Yeeun, starting from watering eyes, through tight throat, up until a squeeze in her heart.

"Don't be fucking ridiculous, Jungkook. You said nothing will change."

He turns halfway, locking their eyes. "I lied."

When he sits in his car, getting ready to race, it becomes real that they are not friends anymore. And Yeeun has a thousand ways to fix it, but neither will work. Because her best friend is no longer here. Whoever Jungkook is now, she doesn't know him anymore.