All Roads Lead to Us (Street Racers #1)

9: Jungkook

"You look bad."

I throw my head back, gulp two painkillers with a bit of water, and let my head fall back with a groan. "I have a fucking headache."

I don't know what Yeeun is doing in my apartment again, it only reminds me of the past and worsens my headache. I also don't know why Hoseok is sitting with us in the kitchen, acting like everything is back to normal.

"Are you gonna win like that? You can barley think," he says.

"I will win even when I'm dead," I mumble, leaning my arms against the counter, head between them as I squeeze my eyes. I know better than to stay up all night the day before a race, yet here I am, another all-nighter on my account. It's, like, fourth in a row.

"That's not quite how it works," Hoseok says, but falls silent under a glare I shoot him over my shoulder.

"Let's just go before I lose patience," I say, slipping my phone into my pocket. I start popping two more painkillers, but Yeeun takes the plastic out of my hands. A shiver runs down my spine at an unpleasant memory we share.

"You can't take four painkillers in one go for a headache." She rolls her eyes, and I grit my teeth. Yesterday still jitters under my skin. When I thought suddenly turning on the best friend mode, because she was crying, was a good idea. Seeing her like that made me panic to the point where I didn't think what I was doing. I did what I always would.

I sigh, my eyes fall to Hoseok, and he nods. "You can't."

One more sigh and I give Yeeun my keys. "Wait in my car. I will come in a minute."

She takes the keys, gives the pills to Hoseok with a telling look, and leaves without saying another word. When the door closes, I turn to Hoseok again. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Acting like nothing happened. Nothing is the same anymore, and it won't be. I don't wanna get my hopes up for nothing. Once the season is over, we are over again, too."

"Unless you do something about it."

"Yes, I will beat Taehyung's ass."

"Is it really enough?" he asks. "You will beat his ass, he will leave her alone, and then what? You'll be okay to just let her go?"

"I have to be," I say with a forced shrug, but the lack of confidence in my voice gives me out. He knows it's a lie as well as I know it, but for once no one continues the topic. My head wouldn't handle it anyways. "Come on, let's go. We'll be late and I still need to grab a coffee on our way."

Hoseok follows us in his car. The only time I speak is when I buy coffee in a drive-through café. I can't focus enough to speak, and it makes me grow more worried about the race. If I can't think now, I will have way too much trouble thinking during the race. My chances to win today are not shooting high.

On the parking lot, I lay my head against the seat and, with eyes closed, gulp the rest of the lukewarm coffee. The last sips make me nauseous, but I follow it with half a bottle of water, and decide it has to do.

We have to go, but neither moves. Sitting in the car without saying or doing anything is starting to become a thing between us. Like something is waiting to be approached, but no one knows how to do it. Thinking of faking our relationship now makes it even worse. I'm not mentally ready today to be doing it.

When we cross the parking lot, with Yeeun's arms wrapped around my right one, I pull a smile on my face. Not only a great racer, but also an actor. I give short answers to whoever comes our way, high five Namjoon, tell Seokjin he'll never see me placing a bet in here. I make sure it all looks believable and normal. Like it's supposed to look.