TW: Mentions of self harm- panic attack, suicidal thoughts, trauma
V-ball 4 life
Sugar😎 is online
Salt🧂 is online
Sugar😎
Where is everyone?
Salt🧂
Asleep
It's 1am
Why are you awake?
Don't you have to pick up Karasuno's #10 in the morning?
Sugar😎
Yeah
But I can't sleep
I wanted to talk to people
But no one's here...
...except you
Salt🧂
Pms
Sugar😎
K
Salt🧂
Hey
Hey?
Why'd ya wanna talk privately?
There's a lot that's been said in the gc that hasn't been explained
I'm curious
About?
You
More specifically
You got your head checked before?
Oh... yeah
It's kinda personal
I'd rather not...
You don't have to say anything
We don't even know each other
I was just curious
Sorry
You're not being salty rn?
You ok?
You're worried?
😏
Sweet of you, Sugar~
But I'm fine
I can be nice sometimes
When I wanna be
Just don't tell anyone about this
Wouldn't dream of it
I'd rather have a secret part of you all to myself
It makes me feel special
And warm inside
Uhh
Ok?
Hey
What's your family like?
My family?
They're really nice and supportive
My parents love me and each other
It's a normal family ig
Why?
Normal huh?
That must be nice
My parents got divorced on my 5th b-day
My mom left
My dad's always working and I don't see him often
Ko and his family usually take care of me
Especially when it acts up...
"It"?
You ok?
I'm sorry about that...
Can I help?
Don't let it happen again...
Ko and Kaashi cry every time it happens
I can't...
Y/n?
Is everything alright?
I'm gonna call
Incoming call from Salt🧂
You answered, shaking. You didn't wanna admit it... but you lost control... again. Tears streamed down your face and your voice was breaking.
"H-hello?"
His voice sounded from the other side. It was smooth, almost calming, and laced with worry. "Y/n? You ok? What's going on?"
"It... it happened again. I... I'm s-sorry..."
"What? What happened? Is everything alright?"
"No. I'm sorry. I... I did it again. I'm so sorry. There's so much blood..."
Tears fell harder. Your senses were confused, you thought you were talking to Akaashi.
"Blood?! What happened?!" His voice cracked. Shirabu was scared, worried what your answer would be...
"I cut myself again."
Shirabu froze, fear seizing every part of his body. 'Again?! She's done this before? Is she...?'
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. The thoughts... what mom did... I lost control. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do it." You cried harder, the panic attack starting to set in. You sat on the floor of your bathroom, bleeding from your arms and shaking.
Shirabu finally snapped out of his daze and spoke to you again, using a gentle voice. "Y/n... it's ok..."
"No it's not!"
"Ok, ok. Maybe it's not ok now, but just hang in there. It'll be alright. How bad are you bleeding?"
"Not as bad as before. I didn't cut as deep... but there's at least 10 cuts on each arm..."
'What?!' Shirabu took a shaky breath. "Ok. Calm down. Take deep breaths. Don't panic."
'Am I doing the right thing? I've never met anyone with these kinds of problems. Is she gonna be alright?'
You took deep, slow breaths, attempting to calm yourself down. "Ok... you're on speaker, so I'm gonna try cleaning this up. Please... just keep talking."
"Ok. Be careful. Wash the cuts out. Put rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide on it to clean and prevent infection. Use antibacterial ointment if you have some. Then wrap them up with bandages. You do have all that, right?"
"Yes. Thank you for helping." You calmed down, finally getting your senses back to normal.
Shirabu sighed. "That's a relief."
That's when you finally realized it: that's not Akaashi or Bokuto. You looked at the name on the screen, it read "Salt🧂". Your eyes widened at the realization... you had been on the phone with Shiratorizawa's second year setter: Shirabu Kenjiro. He heard everything while you were having a panic attack after cutting yourself...
"Sh-Shirabu...?" Your voice was shaky, fear and uncertainty ran through your body.
His voice came from the phone. "Yeah? Is everything alright, Y/n?"
You gulped. "Were you on the phone with me this entire time?"
"Yeah. I didn't know you hurt yourself... or had panic attacks. Is everything... are you alright now?"
You fell to your knees. "Forget everything from this call! And whatever I texted you before! Pretend like this never happened!"
"What? Why?-"
You hung up on him before he could say another word.
You messed up. Big. Now someone else knows about your problems.
Will he keep quiet about this?
Is he going to keep your secret?
Your heart raced, panic taking you once more.
You collapsed on your bed, exhaustion surpassing your panic.
You blacked out, not knowing what the morning will bring.
YOU ARE READING
Sweet N' Salty
FanfictionShirabu x fem!reader Chatfic Your senpai, neighbor, and best friend - Bokuto Kotaro, added you into a volleyball gc one day. You're his sweet bestie that'll become a total bitch the moment someone messes with him or talk shit. You meet a lot of new...
