Double Trouble Disco Dance

15

The more Signora thought about it the more confused she became. Her dogs had acted so differently to the emperor on two occasions. What was the reason? Were they truly different? She had to check somehow but what could she do? She would need to check the body of the 'fake' and that would require knowing when the 'fake' was present. 

"Signora..." Tartaglia muttered, sweat running down his brow. 

"My dear, what is it you request of me?" 

"Signora..." he weakly covered his ears with his palms. "Make it stop. Make the noise stop." 

"You'll be of little use to me if your sanity returns," Signora chuckled, patting Tartaglia's head. "I need you to marry me first, my dear, then I will have the noise stop." 

"Marriage?" Tartaglia's mind was full of fog. He could only hear pieces of Signora's speech. "What would marrying a commoner do for me? If I am to marry I shall marry to benefit my position." 

"Tsk," Signora removed her hand from Tartaglia's head. Even half out of his wits he was still a bastard. Signora bit her thumbnail and stared off into space. Perhaps, if there was an imposter emperor...she should attempt to seduce him instead, marry him, and then kill him off with the poison. It would work much better that way. This poison to control him was not working as she intended. 

"What happened," Tartaglia sat up abruptly, grabbing his forehead, "what happened to my abyssal prince..." 

"Oh?" Signora covered the grin forming on her mouth with her hand. "Who might you be referring to?" Perhaps he could be of some use yet. 

...

"Are you the abyssal prince?" Signora entered the secret cottage. She coaxed the location out of Tartaglia with ease. Kaeya was still tied to the chair. He hadn't been fed in days so his vision blurred and his strength was gone. 

"My little pup," Signora raised his head with her hand. "Don't worry, I shall take good care of you until your owner arrives." 

"Y-you..." Kaeya's eye widened. "You aren't going to send me back there...are you?" his voice cracked. 

"Do you not like the Abyss Herald?" Signora chuckled. "My poor pup," Signora grabbed his chin and dug her nails into his skin. "Don't speak as if you can persuade me. I fully intend to make use of you in better ways than my emperor intended. Especially if I can ransom you to the Abyss Order while simultaneously using you to start a war with Mondstadt." 

"Mondstadt? I have nothing to do with Mondstadt..." 

"Oh, but you will...you will..." 

...

"Why now?" Scaramouche muttered, looking at the letter. "Why right at this minute?" He snapped, crumpling the letter in his hand. 

"What is it?" Childe asked. 

"An envoy...from Mondstadt is coming." 

"A what?" Childe gasped. "But I thought our relationship was tense!" 

"They wish to avoid further conflict and diffuse talks of war...however," Scaramouche rubbed his temple. "If they arrive, I fear it may only start the war you've been so eager to avoid." 

"What am I supposed to do? I don't even know how to act in front of them!" Childe held his face in his hands. "I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of the envoy!" 

"You must pray the King of Mondstadt does not arrive in person," Scaramouche sighed. 

"Scara, darling, will you please tell me what I should do?" he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. 

"Don't call me that!" Scaramouche snapped. "If you want to ask someone, why don't you ask the rumored to-be-emperor of Liyue!" 

"Isn't the emperor an empress?" 

"Go ask your 'beloved,'" Scaramouche rolled his eyes and waved his hand. 

...

"Are you sure it's safe for you to go directly?" the bard wearing green, who'd been upgraded in status to be the king's personal secretary, leaned forward in the carriage. 

"I am the King of Mondstadt which ranks me as the best Knight of Favonius at the same time. Do you doubt I can protect myself?" the redheaded king rested his head against the back of the carriage's interior. His eyes were closed. 

"It's not that...but..." 

"Venti, speak plainly." 

"I would be heartbroken if something were to happen to you, my king," Venti winked and made a heart with his hands, thinking the king wouldn't be able to sense that with his eyes closed. 

"I must judge for myself," the king opened his eyes, pupils narrowing, "what type of man this ruler of Fatui is." Venti stiffened, sitting up straight. 

"King Diluc..." Venti's voice cracked. 

"What?" 

Venti blushed, placing his hand over his mouth and looking away. He squirmed, rubbing his thighs together. "Don't look at me like that. You're too sexy." 

Diluc smiled slightly. He leaned forward and Venti blushed further...before Diluc opened the carriage and threw Venti outside of it. As the bard rolled on the ground, he snickered, without any regrets. 

"Big bro, why is Venti a roly-poly?" 

"Klee," the stoic brother began his explanation, "don't mind him he annoyed the king again."