The Surrogate

47- Family

How do I make the decision god? What if I sign those papers and Yun  he..he.. can't no no no I can't even think about it. But if the surgery isn't done he will have only a few more years and his health will keep degrading" 

"At Least he will live longer with you Yn" 

"No, don't be negative if surgery is successful. Yun will have a new life" 

"And what if it doesn't go well?" 

"You shouldn't be pessimistic" 

"But it's about your child's life!" 

"Stopppp!!"You screamed at the voices in your head . 

"Stop Stop just stop pleaseee" you sobbed covering your ears in an attempt to shut those voices. 

"Pleaseeee....why ...why do I have to make this decision god. Why did you put me at this cliff? No matter what I choose , I feel like I will regret it later. Please ... please show me a way. I can't do this alone. Show me a way please" 

You sobbed even harder cupping your face in your palm unaware of the people that had now gathered outside the open kitchen. 

Your mother signalled others to leave and she slowly made her way to the kitchen to not startle you. Jimin hesitantly made his way back to his room too but Bam stood there. His heart churned seeing you so broken . He couldn't help but think of the countless nights you would have cried yourself to sleep with no one to console you. 

He too walked into the kitchen with his moist eyes unable to walk away. 

"Who said you are alone?" You almost flinched but a warm pair of arms engulfed you from behind . 

"You my baby aren't alone, not anymore. Your mother is right here" Your mother cooed sitting beside you. 

"And your brother too" Bam smiled, taking place on the other side. 

"Yn, my child. I know in the past you have been through alot . Alone. With no one to support you. But you're not alone anymore child. You have us. Your family. You don't have to sit alone and cry like this my child. Families are supposed to share everything, be it sorrow or happiness. Please don't go through it alone Yn. Share it with us, talk to us. It helps ." 

Ruby bit her lips to prevent herself from crying. It pained her to see her daughter going through everything alone.  

"I..I feel so helpless right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know what is the correct choice to make " 

" Yn, this isn't an exam. There is no right option. No matter what you choose, there is a chance you might regret it later. " Ruby said, holding your palms in hers. 

"Then what should I do? I don't want to regret it. Yun is everything to me. " 

" Yn, my child. If you don't do anything after a few years there will be a time where you will regret it. You would never be at peace thinking what if you had made a different choice. You will have this guilt that you didn't do everything in your power. You will never be able to forgive yourself.