Chapter 7

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Ashton's POV

I wake up to Calum carrying me out of the hotel over his shoulder. Where are we going? Oh yeah we have a concert tonight. I go limp again and close my eyes. Might as well enjoy the ride and save some of my energy. I feel myself get set down in the van and something is placed in my lap. I open my eyes and look down to see a sweatshirt and jeans. I'm glad someone got me clothes for the show. I look around to see no one else is the van yet. I pull my phone out and see a text from luke

LUKE: I'm not trying to be mean, but I really need an emotional break today. Ya know, just with the concert.

I set my phone back down, guilt is filling me. I didn't know. From now on I just need to hide it better. No one should have to deal with my emotional issues. Instead of sinking into gloominess I put a smile on my face. Everything is fine. I'm okay. I look up to see Calum in front of me with a bottle of water and my medication. I take both from him and pop the pill in my mouth. I swallow it and chase it with the water. The other boys climb into the van. Luke sits down next to me and puts his head on my shoulder. I pull my phone out and start to scroll through Twitter. I click on the hashtag 5sos. A lot of pictures of the other boys. I've only seen one of me. Why? What's so bad about me? I don't even want to play tonight. I could be replaced. I could vanish and start a new life somewhere else. I could go to college, become someone else. Start a new life away from all of this. It would be perfect. I would be a university student, I would spend my days on campus, studying, partying, living without a care in the world other then what assignment was due. I'm sick of the fans. The tour. Living this life that only brings me down. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything. I'm sure people would kill to have this life but to be honest it sucks. After awhile we pull up to the venue and walk inside. I carry my clothes with me. We make our way back into the dressing room, I slip inside one of the cubicles and pull the curtain back. I slip my clothes off and put the new ones on. I pull the curtain to open it to see luke standing there. Staring at me. I brush pass him and head towards the stage entrance to warm up. I step up onto the stage. The excitement filling me. I remember why I started playing in the first place. It gave me the relief I needed. When I stopped cutting the first time it replaced it. I take my seat with sticks in hand. No ones out here but me. In an empty arena. I start playing, hard. Letting everything out, all the pain. All the emotions. Just letting go. I started banging our classic she looked so perfect. I let it all go. I look up to see all the boys standing their. Jaws wide open.

"I haven't heard you play like that in a long time." Micheal says with the other boys still in awe.

"ASHTON! That was amazing!" Calum yells!

"Let's put it all together now!" Luke says as they make their way to the stage

We begin soundcheck. Going through the set list. By the time we reach the end I'm drenched in sweat. But I feel better. Everything seems better. Maybe I just needed to get it out. Just to get over this slump. I walk into our dressing room and sit down on the couch. I'm so happy right now. I feel amazing, like I could do anything. We have an hour until the show. Fans have started to pile into the place. I can hear them. The buzz of the crowd just excites me more and more. I stand up to head over to our hair dressers area. I open the door and walk down the hall. I push the door open to see luke in there alone. Crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask

"I'm just stressed out. I'm all good." He says as he walks out. I wonder what's up with him? I sit down in the chair and wait for Sam, our hair dresser, to come in. After a few minutes she walks in. Her hair is lavender and bright pink that's been tied up in a messy bun.

"What are we doing today sweetheart." She ask

"The usual, curls and bandanna!" I say. She starts by pulling out a couple of my favorite ones from a suitcase. I pick out my classic red one. She ties it on and then pulls out my curls and throws some product in them to really make them bouncy.

"Looks great!" I say. I give her a hug and walk over to wardrobe. They have a couple of outfits for me. I throw on a long sleeved white graphic T-shirt and a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, with black converse to match.  I walk back into our dressing room to find it empty. I sit down on the couch by myself and just anticipating the show. Waiting is the worse part. The nerves start to creep in a bit. But it's gonna be a good show. After awhile the boys come grab me from the dressing room. We walk to the stage entrance and wait for the cue from management to go on stage. I stand behind Calum and our manger gives us a push to go out. I take my place behind the drums with a huge smile on my face.

"Good evening London!" Luke yells into the mike. And the show begins

I'm so happy right now

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 05, 2022 ⏰

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