the setup

26

"seth, you don't have to say anything you're not ready to."

"no, i'm ready." he sighed and sasha nodded. he had been anxiously waiting for sasha to come home for the last couple hours and finally she was home. seth knew that keeping her in the dark about his past was probably unfair since she was dealing it with him right now, so he knew that the only way to make things right was to tell her. everything. "get comfy, this a long one." he said hoping to make her laugh, he did.

"can i change first?" she asked with a small smile making him chuckle. he nodded and she quickly darted into her room. she returned in her pyjamas before allowing seth to begin his story.

"growing up was easy, you know, i had a close family. it was me charly and charlotte, growing up like three siblings. since i never had sisters, i think i enjoyed it more than everyone else," he said, smiling to himself at the thought. "as we got older, charlotte became more invested in other things, she got a job and started to hang around a little less, but charly and i were inseparable. my mom was pretty happy about that because she assumed that it meant i'd never leave home." he said taking a deep breath.

"you're okay." sasha said, comforting him as she saw that he began to grow nervous. she held his hand, placing it in her lap.

"growing up i was always the kid with big dreams, i wanted to get out of that town and make something of myself, that made my mom mad, i mean, i knew it was gonna make everyone sad, but i never expected what i got, you know?" he said and sasha nodded. "during my junior year, i began to study harder to get into schools out of state and my mother went from this sweet woman to this bitter being that i didn't even recognize. day after day she would verbally abuse me, but she would apologize after so of course i forgave her."

"oh seth."

"she would go on and on about how she didn't want me to leave, but then would treat me like garbage. it messed with me, more than i let myself talk about," he paused. "things got from bad to worse, my mother would call me names before sobbing about how she'd die without me. at first i thought this was it, this was as far as she would ever take it, but i was wrong. she told charly that i started taking drugs and her mother stopped letting her come around. charlotte was able to see me, sometimes, but even then it was too late. i had lost everyone i ever loved. my dad, my sisters and now myself. my mother made me question the type of person i was. it took me to a really dark place, i started to self isolate from those who still wanted to be around me and eventually i started to hurt myself, physically."

"god.." sasha trailed off as a tear ran down her cheek. seth looked defeated. she had no words left to say, she just knew that he needed to finish.

"while it was the darkest time of my life, i still managed to keep my grades up, i got into school here and even though my mother protested, i got a full scholarship and never looked back." he said with a smile before it faded. "but old habits die hard. i told myself that once i got away from her that it would stop, i'd stop hurting myself and just talk to someone, but it took me longer to figure myself out. a big part of me still craved that relationship that i used to have with her, so when she never answered or returned any of my phone calls, my life went to shit. i was ready to end it all, but then i met dean. dean helped me realize that i wasn't alone, even if it felt like it a lot. he got me into much needed therapy and i stuck with it up until last year. i was able to subtract myself from my parental situation and learn to live myself."

"i'm so glad."

"but seeing her again, it just made me feel so small and insignificant. how could you do that to your own son?" he said as he began to cry. "when i have kids of my own, they're gonna feel loved, i won't ever let them go through what i did. i promise." he said before pulling sasha into a much needed hug. he squeezed her tightly before pulling away.

"seth, i need you to tell me if you ever feel like that. i can't lose you." she said as she held onto his forearms. he nodded and she smiled sadly.

"i will." he said before turning back to the tv. "now lemme cuddle you while we watch, what is this? the real housewives of atlanta." he read out making sasha laugh. he sat back on the couch, pulling her into his side. she rested her head on his chest and sighed.

"you want kids?"

"of course."

"how many?"

"three, i think." seth said and she nodded.

"i can do three." she mumbled making him smile.

"good."

a/n last sad chap, i promise