𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗘𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗗• 𝗦. 𝗞𝗔𝗡𝗚

𝑡 𝑤 𝑒 𝑛 𝑡 𝑦 𝑒 𝑖 𝑔 ℎ 𝑡

- "just let go, it's no different from before. Trust me."

𝗽 𝗹 𝗮 𝘆: 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲, 𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗶 𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗼, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀

[Y u n  R y u n g]

What hurts more? Leaving or being the one left alone? We don't really know which ones worse. We don't know if the pain continues once you die. If it continues to grow and spread. Slowly fading but still existent. If you can still feel ever aspect of that pain even as you go through the after life. Or maybe being reincarnated into another world of pain. Reliving the same reality you once lived.

We'll never truely know. And as of right now I'm kind of happy we don't.

"What's the one place you wish you could go to?" I ask her. She just plays with her fingers. Thinking about the question for a second before quickly answering. "Jeju, is looks so nice there." Sae-Byeok quietly subsides. Turning over her shoulder to look at me.

"I've never been there either. We should go together. We can reenact those cheesy ads they usually advertise on tv." Not even thinking I shut my mouth. Meeting her gaze that had seemingly dropped to the ground. Her defined lines along her face seemed low, discoloured and pale. And still she looked so pretty.

"That's right... only one of us can get out of here."  I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream until my lungs flay and sped to ashes. Sob until my voice box finally died out. But it was no use, there's no point in making this harder. No factor to keep the scale in balance anymore. It's just standing still now.

"How about this, we both stand at this line, whoever gets it closest to the wall wins." I say simply. Just before she stood I took one marble from my pouch sliding the rest into her pocket. The action simply missed by her as she brushed her palms on her pants, standing up slowly.

I drew a thin line with my index finger. Standing directly behind it. "You can go first." I tell her. Standing a step back. Swallowing the lump in my throat deep down my throat.

The marble rolls in a quick pace towards the wall. It's only 4 inches away from its original target. There's no time. And no energy left in me to try anymore. So when she steps back I just let the marble slip between my fingers. Dropping it right in front of the line. The dirt slowly flies up. Landing right into the sand. The pebbles being kicked to my feet and my stomach rises.

The heat aerates quicker on my cheeks and I can feel the steam behind my back warm my jacket. I don't feel sad, and somehow I feel just a point of happiness. A sense of relief.

"Oops." I whisper gently. The word tickles my lips just as lightly as a subtle breeze. "Ryung. Is this your way of letting me win huh? Go. Have another try. Actually try god damnit." She grabs my collar. I can feel the hotness of her cheeks against my skin. The rapid movements of her heart and the fluid motions in her veins as she moves me back and fourth.

"It's to late." Tears mark her face. Her lips falling into a tremble. Hands shaking as she places them beside my head. Her forehead placed against mine. Her chest heaving into staggered motions. "I hate you. I hate you so much." She mutters. Placing her head onto my shoulder. She's closing her eyes. Taking in the scent of my shirt as she meets my eyes hesitantly.

"Why would you leave huh? Why would you leave Myung!? Why would you leave me." My body slowly shutting down as I watch her sob. Watching as she desperately tries to swallow her cries, keeping them concealed in her chest yet it just makes it worse.

"You deserve to live out of the two of us. You don't know what I did before I came into this game. You know what you want to do in life. And you know where your going. You're not floating into a distance just waiting for something or anything to happen. You have more reasons to live then I can even muster in a lifetime. And who in their right mind let's the one they love the most die? Huh!? So why would I do that to you!? Give me a valid reason to stay other then you want me to?" I air my cheeks. Letting this internal emotion feed on me inside and out. Letting my waterline flood until my mouth runs dry.

"Just let go, it's no different from before. Trust me." Sae-byeok's hair is sticking against her skin. And her hands still shake and this time she's letting it.

"Let go." She removes her hands from my side. Revealing her face form under her hair.

She walks slower this time. She's taking every second into perspective as she sees the door at the very end.

"It was an honour, to be your partner, friend and companion." She turns for only millisecond.

Even when I could feel my body fall. Even when I see the blood spread underneath my shirt and the pressure in my lower abdomen I still think of her.

Even when my body turns to scarlet red.