Toxicity

Chapter Twenty Two

Jo's P.O.V

Roman's funeral was today. I was finishing up getting ready when I walked in on Jon finishing up with his suit. He was having a hard time with his tye, and so I set my purse down on the bed and face him. "May I?" I ask him, and he nods.

It had been a rough few days with the news of my pregnancy and what it could do to me. Neither one of us really wanting to talk about it or the funeral. "There you go." I whisper, and looks at himself once more on the mirror.

"I hate funerals." He speaks. "Especially this one."

"I know." I go to grab his arm when he turns at the last second.

"Everyone I love dies." He says, and I know what he's directing this towards me. "Roman didn't have a choice, but you do."

"Mox..." I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I just want you to keep that in mind while we are there today." He says, and quickly retreats out of the room.

I try not to take this to heart because I know he's grieving, but he's absolutely right. I'm left with the hardest decision to make.

He's silent on the way there, and when we arrive. Galina is there waiting for us. "You shouldn't be here." She snaps at me. "You're the reason he's dead."

"Galina, I'm sor-" She slaps me across the face, and Mox pushes me behind him.

"If you're going to blame any of us, blame me. Roman was my best friend, and he chose to fight alongside me. Touch her again, and you'll regret it." He takes my hand, and guides me to our seats where Seth and Becky were.

I let Seth sit next to Jon, I needed Becky. I needed her to tell me everything would turn out alright. "Rough morning?" She asks me, and I nod. "I've got you." She wraps her arm around my shoulders, and I stay like that as both Seth and Jon make their speeches about Roman.

"Not many people have chose to befriend me, let alone love me, but Roman was one of those people. He was my brother, and he died doing what we do best, fighting." Mox begins his speech. "Roman was the one to show me the ropes in this place, and I'll never forget that. He made sure that I kept my head on straight. No matter what, we knew we loved each other. He died a hero. He died helping me protect those I care for the most." His eyes look over into mine. "He wouldn't have done it if he didn't love me, and our family we built. I'll miss you brother, and make sure you save a spot for me."

The rest of the funeral went along in a blur, and I leave before everyone else does. I make my way to the car, needing the air as I walked alone. "I'll miss you, Roman. I'll take care of your boy I promise." I whisper as I look into the sky.

"They're having a little get together at the club house if you want to go." Mox says from behind me.

"Sure." I nod, and make my way into the car. As we begin to drive off, he slides his hand into mine. He squeezes it, and it's the most affectionate he's been I'm the past few days.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asks me, and I nod. "Can you look at this through my eyes please?"

"Jon.."

"Just listen." He cuts me off, and I nod. "What would you do if it were me? If I told you that I could live if I just didn't do this one thing, but I had already decided that I wanted to do it. How would you react?"

"I wouldn't want you to do it." I whisper, and look over at him.

"Then why are you doing this to me?" He asks, and his voice cracks. "I know you want to be a mother. I also saw how hard you took the miscarriage. Are you really okay with giving up your life for a child that I don't even know will like me?"