Emotions

Finding Out

"You are new?" I question, suspicion filling my voice. The story does not match. If he is new here, why is he being chased?

"Yeah, I arrived here this morning. You see, I have a severe case of hyperthyroidism, and my brother is a doctor here, so he wanted me to come here and get treated. Let me tell you a secret," He informs and comes closer to me.

"I am afraid of needles, so I ran away from the hospital," he whispers.

"The people chasing me is my brother's close friends who work at the same hospital. I have to get the injection today, or I might get really sick," he shrugs. As he finishes, his phone rings, and he shows me the caller.

"See, my brother," He grins and attends the call but keeps the phone away from his ear,"

"WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?" I hear loud screeching. He and I both wince from the noise.

"Hello, dear brother," He grins.

"Don't hello dear brother me, don't you know that you are sick? You have to get the injection or you mig-"

"I am with someone. Can I call you later?" He interrupts, clearly not interested to hear his brother nag him.

"You already found your next victim?" My eyes widen at the word, and I take two steps back. The boy starts laughing at my actions and shakes his head.

"Don't worry. I am not a killer or anything. I have been transferred to a few cities, and I always run away on the first day and find a person to show me around. Nothing else," He clarifies, stressing on the last two words.

I heave a sigh of relief at his words. I know I want to die, but not by someone else's hand. Thank you very much. Now that I look at him more closely, he has straight dark brown hair that almost looks black, he has huge eyes that makes him look like a teddy bear, and small lips, and because of the absence of blood and cole weather, he looks very pale.

"I will be there in ten minutes. Don't worry," He informs, rolling his eyes. His brother starts to say something else, but he cuts the call.

"Elder brothers. Always nagging," He complains. I nod along, having no experience whatsoever. I was the elder sibling, and I am the cool kind.

"So, anything special during this season?" He questions.

"There is a winter festival tomorrow, at the next town two hours from here," I say. His eyes light up like a kid during Christmas.

"Alright, tomorrow we will meet at the cafe. 7 pm sharp," He informs and runs off without a reply.

I am going on a trip tomorrow with a boy I just met. My parents would probably be laughing in heaven at the situation I got myself into. I am an extreme introvert. I like to be alone with myself and occasionally go out to see what the world is like. My friend group was so small. I can imagine my sister with a smirk on her face,

"Serves you right for eating my share of the cookies," My boyfriend would already be making a list of things I should pack. I will not be surprised if a paper falls from heaven, warning me to pack my sunscreen. I sigh and walk to my car.

I drive back home, thinking about the teddy bear boy. He is so full of happiness, even though he is sick. I see people smiling all the time, but his laugh, the way he closed his eyes and scrunched his nose as he laughed. That laugh made me feel things. Not in a romantic way. No. it did not give me butterflies. His laugh gave me hope. Hope that somehow things will be alright.

I enter my house and head straight to my room, looking at all the other rooms would give me dreams about the past. I don't want to wake up and find that it was a dream. I want to cry, but the tears won't flow out. Only the void gets bigger.

I sometimes wish I could cry out loud so that the pain in my heart could ease. But that is the thing about having no emotions. I don't feel the pain in my heart. It all goes towards the void, only feeding it and making it bigger. The days pass away like this, with me trying not to think about my family, but even though they are dead, they are so stubborn.

I always remember my dad when I look at the bookshelf near my bed. He loved books, just like me. We would spend most of our days reading books and arguing, who the best character was.

I always remember my mom when I enter the kitchen. We would spend our holidays here baking cakes and having a food fight. Her cookies made with so much love were the best.

I always remember my sister when I look at myself. We were twins. I was born first by five minutes. She was the spitting image of me, and I hated myself because of that. Now I just don't care. I also remember her when I dive my car. It was such a hard task teaching her how to drive. I am surprised she does not have a permanent bump on her head because of the number of times I hit her for nearly killing me.

There is no point in remembering the dead because It does not bring them back. I pack some stuff that I might need for tomorrow. I want to know why I feel that small ray of hope when I am with him, and I will get the answer tomorrow. I finish all that is required for tomorrow and head to bed after taking my medicines.

I have dreams about that day every night and wake up screaming. But the medicine helps me sleep a little better. Soon the medicine starts working and pulls me into the darkness.

I am up bright and early, surprisingly no dreams yesterday. I quickly get ready and reach the cafe. I order a black coffee, hot chocolate and two brownies and wait for the teddy bear boy.

The shop bell chimes and he comes in wearing a white hoodie and black baggy jeans. We are kind of matching. I'm wearing a black hoodie, white jeans and my favourite pair of black boots.

"HIIII. How are you doing?" He greets me with a big smile and sits across from me. I pass him his brownie and hot chocolate. He thanks me and happily dives in.

Ba-dump, ba-dump. There it is again. That small ray of hope, trying to melt the ice again. I scrutinize him, trying to understand what is so special about him.

"What is your name?" I question.

"I won't tell you," He grins.

             ___________________________

Just like I promised, the second chapter. When I was editing the chapter in Grammarly, It highlighted this line 'I want to die but not, but not by someone elses's hand' and asked if I am okay, or if I need any help. That was so sweet. I did not expect that. Anyway for people going through hard times, you are not alone. I love you. Jesus loves you. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Vote and leave a comment. The next chapter is going to be interesting. 

Love 😍
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