My Neighbour

fifty two

Riley

Can someone tell me why I'm sitting here hoping he comes climbing through the window. But I know he won't 
The window still hasn't been opened since that night. I haven't spoken a word to him this entire week. And god it's fucking hard
No matter how much I hate what he did, no matter how much I hate her.. 
I could never hate him

Instead I spent my nights cooped up in my room occasionally looking across the road to see him leaving and coming home
The hardest part of all of this is, he was my best friend. The person I could turn to for everything.. I had such a level of trust with him that it was us against the world
But in one fail swoop, he dropped it.. He dropped me
Everything we built, everything I've grown to love.. is gone. 

"Hey" I said to Michelle as she FaceTimes me that evening
"Hey, you doing okay?" She asked, of course Michelle and Daniel know about what went down. I knew I had to talk to someone about it and I wasn't about to burden Thalia and Giselle with it. They are still smitten with the boys. I can't bring them down with me 

"I'm alright" I lied and she gave me the same sympathetic smile
"Silly question, have you spoken to him?" Michelle asked but I shook my head before looking out the window to see him working on his Car
"Do you want to?" She asked and I nodded
"Then why don't you Riles? I know what he did hurts but if something is still there. Are you sure this isn't something you can work through?" She asked as another tear left my cheek but I had my head turned so she wouldn't see it 

"Cheating isn't a mistake Michelle, it's a choice" I said turning back to look at her
"It's how James and I began, I was stupid to think it wasn't how it would end" I said making Michelle look at me with even more sympathy
"Riley, it isn't always that simple. I know plenty of couples who has grown past it. It takes a lot of time but it ultimately worth it" She started making me look at her a little intrigued
"If you give him a shot, you both get to re get to know each other, re fall in love. It can be the next chapter of your epic love story" Michelle offered but I shook my head

"What's the point? In a couple months, I'll be coming home and then we'll be heading to college, why would I hold him back like that" I asked
"at least this way, he can reach his full potential" I offered
"What if his full potential is only full when he's with you?" She asked
"If that was the case, we wouldn't be in this position right now" I said and she sighed knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere here 

--

A Second Chance..

That is all that is running through my head. God I wanted to give him one but I also didn't want to be played a fool
Even if I was prepared to do that. Who's to say James hasn't already moved on

I took a deep breath before heading over to my photo wall. I had added some new photos recently, some of James and I.. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't bare to take them down
He hurt me and he hurt me bad but I don't want to forget him
I don't regret him. I never could.. 
But I just want the pain to stop 

I picked up one the photos looking at it, we both looked so happy. It feels just like yesterday we were off camping under the stars talking about what the future had in store for us. And now I'm sitting in my room heartbroken ignoring the boy who still has a tight grip on my heart

And I don't think he'll be letting go anytime soon..