Treading The Waters [on hold]

Prologue

"When did you apply for this?" He questions, his tone calm.

"A few months ago, before everything happened. I sent some rough cuts to a few labels all over the country, but I wasn't expecting to hear anything back from them."

"Why didn't you talk to me about this? Why keep it a secret from me?" I see it there, the look of betrayal in his eyes. The sun is blistering on my skin, but I've never felt colder.

"I didn't even think I'd get any offers. I didn't want to bring it up unless I absolutely needed to."

"And is it necessary now? You have to bring it up?" He husked. The words are caught in my throat, so he continues. "Are you going to go?" He may be trying to contain his emotion, but I hear the slight crack in his voice.

The tears flood my eyes with no warning, spilling over and dripping into the lake, adding to the vast volume. The answer is caught in my throat, but it seems like my silence is answer enough for him.

"I guess I know your answer then," he says, voice flat, looking at me as if I were a stranger to him, not someone who's spent the entirety of high school loving him.

"What am I supposed to do, huh?" His voice raises. I still haven't formed any words. "How am I supposed to do all of this alone, Baya? You were supposed to help me, B. You said you'd help," he all but pleads.

"I have helped you, Jensen. More than you can realize right now. I've helped with schedules, homework, driving the kids everywhere, cooking, cleaning, and so much more," I argue.

"You said you wouldn't leave." The brokenness in his voice tears away a piece of me with every word he speaks.

"I didn't plan on leaving, Jensen... at least not when I told you that," I sigh, shoulders sagging slightly.

"You know, when the accident happened, I didn't know what the hell to do. I was in such a shock that I could barely function, and you were there for me. You did the hard stuff that I couldn't do – when it happened – and you helped us get back on our feet without even blinking an eye." He pauses, but only briefly. "You even helped me assume the role as the owner of this place," he says, looking back at the lakeside restaurant that not long ago became his. "We've been through so much together, B; things I didn't think I could get through. But do you know what got me through it? You did. Having you by my side has helped me, because I knew that when things got tough, you would always be there to help me and keep me afloat."

"Jensen, I'm always here to help you. The hard part is over now, and this is only temporary-" I begin, but he keeps going.

"What about our plans, huh? Graduate, go to college together, then move home to have a life together. That was the plan." His voice is laced with acid as he reminds me of everything we've talked about doing together – as if I could forget.

"I haven't forgotten the plan, J."

"We've talked about going to Berkeley for two years now. This decision ruins our whole plan, and you didn't even think to talk it over with me." I don't miss the fact that his voice is raised a bit, but I get it. He's hurt. "This isn't just about you, Baya." The longing for our plans lingered on his every word.

"You couldn't even go if you wanted to, J. You have no idea how much I want you to be with me, but your responsibilities are different now."

"Don't I fucking know it," he says, bitterness coating his voice.

"I have to think of me, too. I've wanted this my whole life, you know that. I thought you'd be happy for me." I hate how weak I sound right now.

"I'm always proud of you Baya, but I'm fucking hurt that you didn't include me on this decision. When have we ever not talked to each other?" He snaps. I see the glistening of tears welling in his eyes, but he blinks them away.