Falling for Death

It always ends

Harper

I have to tell him.

It's now or never.

I can do this.

"I have something to tell you." I said.

The night was coming to an end and it was about to change.

I led him out of the room towards one of the side emergency exits. We stepped outside and the cool night air kissed our faces.

I sat down on the steps and pulled him with me. I felt so weird and nervous.

"You're scaring me Harper."

I laughed lightly, "It's nothing bad, I promise."

He seemed hesitant. I could see the thoughts running through his mind.

His eyes were on me as he waited.

My heartbeat sped up.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He gave my hand an encouraging squeeze.

You heard him! Just spit it out.

It was making me go mad.

Yet, I was excited at the same time. I was so excited to tell him.

I wasn't afraid anymore. My fears of the unknown ceased to exist.

"I know. I'm just- uh how do I put it." I sighed, frustrated with myself, "I'm sorry, I'm so nervous."

"Don't be. It's just me." He spoke softly.

"That's the problem." I smiled sadly, "You told me not to do it but I..." I trailed off, observing his reaction.

He tensed up when I stood up, gesturing for him to do so as well.

He stood in front of me, waiting for me to continue.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled.

It's just a stupid word. One word, eight letters. It's what I feel for him.

Then, it happened.

The words I longed to tell him finally left my lips. I poured out my heart to him.

"I love you."

However, I immediately regretted it as I saw the look in his eyes.

He froze.

"What?" He asked lowly.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

Stay calm. He's just shocked. He's surprised. I reassured myself.

"I love you Ace." I repeated, hoping my voice sounded more confident.

Maybe he didn't hear me?

I started to feel panicked. Tears threatened to fall. It was as though something stabbed my heart.

He doesn't love me?

"I love you." I said again, "I'm so in love with you."

His lack of response stabbed knives deep in my heart.

"Don't fucking say that." He said, deepening the wound. His voice sounded cold and harsh, opposite to how he was earlier tonight.

Did all the things he say to me mean nothing?

I felt my heart crack.

"I'm in love with you Ace!" I said, my voice cracked as I held back a sob. Tears pricked my eyes and eventually slipped out.