The Whitebeard Pirates' Playground

Ch.1 - Broken Stove

Trying a crack-fic! I will be using the word stove, but I mean the combi-thing with also an oven. But that was too long to write and I do not know if it has a name on its own. Enjoy!

It was another peaceful morning on the Moby Dick. The commanders all enjoying their morning cup of coffee, or hot chocolate for Ace, in the mess-hall before starting the day.

"Sh*t, c'mon, c'mon, aaaaahhhh you stupid annoying frea- LEAVE ME BE, I AM TRYING YOU NITWIT!"

For Moby Dick standards, the very first sentence of this story shall remain the same. The yelling, cursing and crashing sounds emerging from the kitchen did not raise any alarm under those eating. As long as there was no smoke, it was all good. And even then, 9 out of 10 times it would somehow be Ace setting something on fire, and as a coincidence it would be said persons fault and was responsible himself, no need to bother.

Taking a sip of his drink Jozu decided to bring the topic to the table, they didn't really have anything else to talk about anyway "So. Who is Thatch cursing to hell and back in the kitchen?"

"Maybe it's part of the process?" was the instant reply he got, which was followed by a sigh at the same speed. A sigh that sounded so practiced as if it was needed every 5 minutes.

"Ace-yoi... Since when is cursing a part of making soufflés?" Normally Marco wasn't that interested in the menu, he would just eat whatever, but Thatch promised to make him some with pineapple paste, so that changes things.

"... Maybe it adds some spice?"

"...."

"You guys are all so boring! Can't you at least laugh, it was a joke, I know it doesn't add spice!"

'... As if it was a joke.... The actual joke is that the 2nd commander's cheeks are now pinker than the strawberry jam on the breakfast table.' Of course no one voiced this thought. They didn't want to replace the table, again. Fire really isn't the best thing to have when being on a ship made of wood, especially not if said fire is control of a hothead...

"F*CKING HELL, IF ONE OF YOU SAYS SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN, I WILL USE YOUR HEAD AS A LIGHTER"

"I didn't know you were in the kitchen Ace-dear" Izou so gracefully mentioned, hiding half his face behind his fan.

"Pffffff, nice one Iz"

"... And you all laugh about that... It wasn't even a good joke..."

Patting the fire user on the head, Marco put on a, obviously fake, pitying tone "There there, it's okay-yoi. Here, have another sandwich."

"Thank you, you're the only one who's nice to me." Ignoring the snort he got as an answer, Ace took the sandwich and ate it with a pout.
The chaos of curses and clashes of steel and whatever still echoing in the background.

___________

-20 min later-

"Sons, I can't believe I have to ask, but can anyone please go and check on Thatch."

"... Do we have to?"

"Yes."

Feeling a lot of stares at him, Ace stopped eating his umpteenth sandwich to look at the table, "...Why is everyone looking at me?"

"You're his best friend" - "You can represent us all."
"Potāto potäto everyone, the chef asked for a lighter head before, so that's clearly Ace."