The Owl House x Male Reader

Witches Before Wizards

Luz: Good morning, Eda the Owl Lady. I am ready for my first day of Witch Apprenticeship.

Y/n does a salute.

Eda: Ugh!

Eda shakes spiders out of her hair, picks another one out of her ear

Eda: Who are you, again?

Luz: Huh?

Luz stares in horror as her name tag falls to the floor. Y/n facepalms himself.

Luz follows Eda into the kitchen

Luz: Remember me? Luz? Y/n?

Luz grunts as a coffee cup hits her in the back of the head

Luz: We freed the oppressed and defeated the evil warden together? Yesterday?

Eda: Kid, lay off the details. I haven't even had my cup of apple blood yet.

Luz: You mean apple juice?

Eda: No.

Y/n: Can I try some?

Eda: If you can get it from the shelf.

Y/n just looks annoyed as he summons a hand to pass it towards him. He gets a cup and tries it.

Y/n: Not bad. Not bad at all. Even taste better than apple juice.

Eda sits on the kitchen table and drinks from her mug. King is sitting in a high chair and stabbing a fork into a yellow blob with eyes sitting on a plate.

Luz: Teach me some spells. When do I get a magic staff? Was I supposed to bring my own runes?

Luz gasps

Luz: Do you have a dangerous magical quest for me?

Eda: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, kid. Being a witch doesn't happen overnight. Also, you're wrapped in a bathrobe and wearing the dirtiest traffic cone I've ever seen.

Luz pulls her hat off and blows on it, revealing that it was, in fact, a traffic cone with a severe layer of dust on it.

King laughs in response

Eda: But a magic staff, huh? You really want one?

Luz: More than anything.

Eda: Magic staff, come to me!

She holds out her hand. For a second, nothing happens. Then several things crash distantly. King, Luz, and Eda all slowly turn to the sound, until Eda's staff appears and smacks her in the face, clattering to the ground.

Eda grunts and picks the staff up, spinning it before tapping it on the ground

Eda: It's early. Now, witches are awarded their staffs from school. With me as your teacher, you'll be taking a different approach.

Eda drops a bag of potions onto the floor

Eda: You'll have to work for it.

Eda leads Luz through the living room

Eda: I run a few businesses. On weekends, I offer rare human treasures that Owlbert drags over from your side of the realm.

She grabs a toy sword and hits a button near the pommel.

Sword: I shall smite my enemies! Ages six to eleven.

Y/n: Then no one's getting smitten I guess

Eda tosses the sword over Luz's head

Eda: But most days I sell only the finest homemade elixirs and potions.

Luz pulls a bottle from the bag and reads the label