Falling for Death

Speechless

Therefor, I believed strongly that there was a bigger force pulling us together and when the time was right, we'd fall.

Which already happened. We did fall, hard. There's no getting back up. Or at least I did. I fell in so deep and I can't resurface.

I don't want to.

Every second, I get pulled deeper and deeper into an ocean of love. It's drowning me and the only person who can save me is him.

My love for him cannot be hidden any longer. I had to tell him.

There's no going back after this.

I exhaled heavily and inhaled, over and over again, only concentrating on my breathing as I tried keeping my thoughts at bay.

I shut my eyes for a brief second and opened them. I let out a shaky breath and went into my bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and it honestly shocked me. I changed so much in the last few months, both physically and emotionally.

My smile is now twice as wide as it was before, my eyes shined brighter; they lit up like stars whenever he was around, my mindset has evolved.

The old me would not be this happy. The old me would not be obsessing over a boy. She would not be thinking like this. And she definitely would not be falling in love.

But she's dead now. She's gone. I died the night we met and was reborn into someone else. A better version of myself.

A very passionate and emotionally grounded person.

I used to think that being in love meant being weak; I used to think it was stupid.

But now I've begun to realize that love did not make you weak, it made you feel all the emotions, it made you see the beauty in pain, enjoy the little things in life and that did not make you weak. It set you free.

It wasn't a weakness. It wasn't stupid. It was a rare occurrence that only happened if fate played their cards well in your favour.

And in our case, destiny brought us together. Fate had a funny way of making everything work out and bringing two people together but it also had a way to separate them.

It was only a matter of time. But if time was in our favour than that's another story.

I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall—I have absolutely no idea why I'm crying. Then again, I'm a very emotional person.

And today is a special day. A day that could change everything between us or change nothing at all. I hoped it was the latter. Nonetheless, I was ready for whatever fate had in store for us.

Embarrassed and sad laughs escaped my lips, I wiped the tears that slipped out of my eyes and smiled to myself.

I needed to stop this way of thinking. Everything works out. In the end, I'm all I have and I won't let these thoughts bring me down.

I won't let my mind fall with my heart.

I had to stay grounded and believe that it was all going to be okay.

He showed me the beauty in life. He taught me that I had a purpose and that the only person I truly needed to love was myself, that love wasn't stupid and that it definitely wasn't a weakness. Kindness showed strength and emotions made you stronger.

He taught me perhaps life and death weren't so different after all; they needed each other. Without life, death was useless and vice versa. The two created balance and they were always meant to stick together.