Anxiety had its grip on me. Filling me with fear, growing greater with every passing moment. What if Sam does not really like me, what if this is just how he treats all of his patients? What if he was just being friendly and did not know that he was leading me on? If this was true then I would be destroyed. I would never be able to love again, especially not after Jeremy.
My mind is a horrible thing, getting my hopes up only to tear then back down when ever I feel better. To full me with fear and hopelessness when u finally thought that I had a glimpse of the sun pass this constant covering of clouds and rain. God I really am a freak.aybe I should just die, yeah die and act like Samuel never existed. Oh, even his name is amazing. What a lovesick puppy I am.
Alice kept pestering me, asking me why I am so moody. Eventually she wore me down and I told her all my fears while she just sat there shaking her head with a grin on her face. When I finished the little bitch started laughing at me, like really she did not even try to hide it or anything, the whore did it right in my face. Rude much. I would love to see how she would be laughing with a nine inch stiletto heal in her stomach. Yeah, I bet that would shut her up.
After a murderous glare from me she stopped laughing and explained he self. Apparently she was laughing because I sounded like Sam's botch. Maybe I was a little but still, like it was any of that hoes business.
I skipped breakfast that morning, I was to anxious to eat. The little bitch next to me kept saying that I had better eat or else, but she never carried out the threat. But if she did I hoped the or else would be more counselling with Sam, I would never eat again if it was.
For the next 5 hours I had to keep my self entertained so I came up with various fantasies of how to murder everyone around me. That really kept me happy and occupied. If only I had a weapon then by now then everyone in this room would all ready be dead.
At noon I was taken back to room 15. It was exactly how I remembered it, except that two words were written in blue marker on the white board. The words read 'Psychotic depression'. I had a feeling of horror about those words, as if they would be my downfall. But that would be impossible as words can not do any harm. Can they?
Travers soon made an appearance. He was wearing white skinny jeans and a tight v neck shirt that was tight in all the right places. These clothes only made me want him in the most un romantic ways.
"I think I know what is wrong with you." Well woopedy fucking do.
"Hello to you too" i said in the most sparky voice I could manage.
"You are depressed." He said completely ignoring my remark.
"No shit sherlock. Tell me something I do not know." I snapped, this dude really pissed me off but I still lived him.
"Language Taylor." He warned, talking to me like a little kid. If that was how he would treat me than that would be how I would act.
"Language Taylor." I mimicked like the little bitch I was.
You could see him visibly trying not to rip my head off. Maybe I have p used to far. But then again let us see how this plays out.
"Please allow me the common curtosey of being able to finish my own sentences. As I was saying I think you have a rare type of depression found only in those with very severe cases. As it is such a serious and sever are you have developed psychosis." He finally finished what he was saying g and heaved a sigh.
"Is that why that is written in the white board?" I questioned him wanting to know what was wrong with me.
"Yes that is the reason."
The doctor then turned his attention to his brown leather bag. After five minutes of searching he reemerged. In his hand was a series if pan flits.
"Here" He said, extending the pan flits to me. I snatched them from hus hands while quickly skimming over the titles. They were all associated somehow to what was wrong with me.
"Do I really need all of these?" I asked giving him a quizzical look.
"Yes Taylor" He was beginning to sound exasperated now. "You need to know what is wrong with you.
"Also I will be starting you on anti psychotics and Mellotinine to help you sleep." Samuel then rose to his feet and exited the room with me In tow.
Like last time he winked at me but this time he flashed me a grin before he walked away with all the sass he could muster. Okay, may he was not being friendly.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
4 a.m. knows all my secrets
RomanceA story about a boy who is suffering with severe depression and is stuck back in a Psychiatric ward after his 5th suicide attempt. During his stay will Taylor get better or will he just slowly slip further into the black hole that he has been loving...