Predator (DWT x OC)

69

"I didn't forgive George." I say, looking up, and at Tubbo, for the first time it feels like I'm truly seeing him. I want to hate him so much for Jack's death, for what I went through, what we all did, for picking Schlatt, for leaving me, but I can't. He's a fucking kid. He doesn't deserve this. "And I know I will never forgive you. But Tubbo deserves a life Quackity, one where he doesn't need to be a member of a fucking cabinet, or a pawn in a war. He deserves to be a kid."

"Schlatt says I'm not a child anymore." Tubbo's voice is so small it makes me want to cry. "He says I need to grow up."

"That's not true." I say gently. "You always were a child, and you're still one now, and you have had that stolen from you, by men like Schlatt, and Dream." I look back at Quackity. "Don't steal what he has left from him too."

"I can't."

I want to take his head, and slam it into the table, I want to put that pathetic, sad, self-pitying mug through his goddamn window, I want to make it gush bloody red, I want him too hurt, like I hurt, so he knows, take a knife and trace it deep into his arms, I want him too know.

Maybe he wouldn't be so fucking weak then. 

"Figure out a fucking way." I spit. I can't stand the sight of him, not anymore. 

I will give up my life, over and over and over again, for my family, for those who I love. I gave it up for Tommy and Tubbo, for Wilbur, for Fundy, back what feels like millennia ago, when I had a choice between myself and the revolution, when I let Dream take me, and I would do it again, without a second thought. Even though it dooms me. 

There are things much worse than death, and I would go through them too. 

But Quackity was always a coward. Not that I could ever understand it. 

I sit on the edge of the bed, head in my hands. How far have I come from that girl back then? The naivety of not knowing pain, of not falling in love, so blissfully unaware of what our future would hold. I wish I could go back to a time, where kidnapping was the worst thing that had happened to me. 

Before Dream invaded my brain, and my thoughts, before Fundy tore about my body with violence and hatred, before my world fractured into pieces too small for me to pick back up, fine dust remains of a life I knew, the person I was, gone with the wind, never to be recovered, or remade, never to come back. 

I want my Mum, and Sam, and Niki. I want Tommy and Tubbo safe, so they don't have to grow up like I did, so they don't become the monster I am. 

Because Quackity is right about one thing. I am a monster. I was a healer, helping even my worst enemies, too scared to inflict pain. That is not who I am anymore. I will not fight it, I will not change it, because it is who I am now, it protects me, it keeps me safe, it stops powerful men hurting me like they did. 

But that is not the life anyone deserves to live, especially not them. 

"Rosie?" The quiet voice is accompanied by a hesitant knock outside the oak door. 

This is that one moment, where I get to make a decision that determines the course of this relationship, and our lives. And I could be selfish, oh it would be so easy to be selfish, but he never deserved that. 

"Yeah?"

The door opens slowly, and Tubbo steps nervously into my room. 

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't want Jack to die, I didn't know, I promise."

"I know Tubbo." I say sadly, folding my arms in my lap. "I know."

"Is it true?" He asks, tear sliding down his cheeks. "Are we not family anymore?"

"I-" I falter. Is it true? Do I really believe that? Do I really not care about him anymore. I think I know deep down, that could never be true. "No. No it's not true."

"I know why you said it." He rasps, more tears spilling over his lashes, choking up his words. "I'm so sorry."

"He's gone." I say softly, but it's not unkind this time. "Fundy and Schlatt killed him, not you."

"I told them though." He sobs softly. "I told them, and he wouldn't be dead if I didn't."

"Tubbo." I say, but more firmly. "Was Schlatt hurting you then?" I remember the pale skin and nervous eyes that darted around the room, how terrified he was. 

He nods. "I broke the rules, and he kicks me when I break the rules."

I am going to rip out Schlatt's fucking spine and feed it to him. 

"It's not your fault." I don't know if I believe it. It doesn't even matter now. "I'm sorry for blaming you."

"It is my fault."

"No." I open my arms out, even though every part of my body is screaming at me to stop, and I just want to hide away, and curl into a ball, or drink so much I go completely numb, so I don't have to feel this anymore. But that's part of being human, and it's part of living, and I will have to learn to embrace them. Tubbo blinks, then slams into them at full force, and I wrap them around his shaking frame tightly. "It is not your fault, okay? It is Schlatt's, and Fundy's, and maybe even Quackity's, but it is not yours."

"I thought-t you h-hated me." He sobs, face buried in my shoulder. I lean my cheek on the top of his head, squeezing him for dear life, both of us clinging on like if we let go, we'll be ripped away from each other. 

"I was really sad, and lonely, and I was really scared Tubbo, and I'm so sorry for taking it out on you. I could never hate you." I say into his hair. "I'm so sorry."

"I m-missed you." He whimpers into my now damp shoulder. If I wasn't so exhausted, I'd sobbing just as hard too. "I thought I was a traitor and you hated me."

"Hey." I say softly, pulling his head up so he can look at me.  "I do not blame you, I don't think you're a traitor, and I love you so much Tubbo, okay? I love you."

"But I helped our enemies, I joined their side."

I widen my eyes. "You are looking at the girl who fell in love with Dream, do you think I'm in a position to judge you?"

His hands close over mine. "That wasn't you fault either."

I manage a smile, and a half-hearted scoff. "Yeah, but it was probably worse."

And maybe, my heart wasn't as broken as I thought it was. 

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A/N Yeah okay, I have a soft spot for Tubbo, I'm human I guess. 

This is kind of the first time that Rosie acknowledges the fact that she has become much more numb and 'turned into a monster', but while she does take that step, she also is completely okay, with not just it, but also acknowledging it and recognising it, showing she has fully accepted it as apart of herself. She knows it's not healthy, and she doesn't want anyone else to be like her, but she is still terrified of being weak and wants to protect herself at all costs. We also see how much she cares about Tommy and Tubbo, and how she still has those instincts to protect them. 

I don't blame Tubbo for his actions. He was being intimidated and physically and emotionally abused (and still is). He's a kid, swept up in a dictatorship, brainwashed and terrified out of his mind, and he had no idea that Fundy was going to kill Jack, he thought they'd all just be arrested. He freaked out and did the thing he'd been conditioned to do through violence and manipulation, and I think it's a huge step for Rosie to recognise that and accept that for him. She so clearly wants better for them than what she has. 

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