You Are The Reason

26

Kerry

Layla braided my hair and I let her. Her tiny fingers weaved through my hair smoothly. I didn't know a toddler could braid this well. She seems to really love my hair for some unknown reasons. I didn't mind. While she braided, my mind was elsewhere.

"Uncle Noah is here!" She screams loudly and cheers around.

He indeed was there, leaning his shoulder against the door with his arms folded. White tshirt perfectly suited his tall frame and his faded jeans. His hair was wet which meant he already took a shower after coming back from work. He smiled at Layla. That smile sent butterflies in my belly.

Layla stood up from her delicate knees and started jumping on the bed. Noah looked at her in bewilderment and quickly pulled her into his arms, picking her off the bed.

"Don't do that again, Layla. You could hurt your aunt if you're not careful." He lightly reminded her.

Layla looked at me with sincere guilt in her eyes.

"Its ok, sweetheart. You didn't mean it." I told her softly.

Her eyes brightened and she smiled at me. The girl kissed Noah's cheek and hugged him tightly. He laughed lightly and returned her hug. I couldn't help but smile at them.

"What's it with you, Noah? She wouldn't even give me the same hugs and kisses like the way she is eager to give you." Layla's dad complained.

"Er, its because I'm her favourite."

"I don't know what magic you did upon my daughter. C'mon Layla, mama's been waiting for you."

"No." She clung to Noah tightly.

"Don't do that. You wouldn't want to miss that favourite park of yours now, would you?"

"The park?" Layla squealed.

"Yes sweetheart. I promised you the park this week."

"Let's go! Let's go!"

Noah let her down slowly. Layla waved us goodbye as she held her father's hand and walked towards the front door. I already felt like I missed the kid. She had been the only company I had for the whole day. Everytime she would come over, she could play with my hair or bring her dolls to play dress up. I felt like a five year old again with her. She would ask me if I needed something or if I was fine whenever I winced from the throbbing pain.

"Do you miss her already?" Noah asks as he makes himself at home beside me. His shoulder bumps into mine but I don't mind. I shouldn't have asked for space in the beginning.

I missed you too.

"Yes. I feel like I'm taking care of my own daughter when she is here. I'm really attached to her now."

"You love kids?"

"I do." I said softly.

Suddenly, there is an awkward silence followed by tension. I wonder if I said something wrong.

"Kerry there is something I didn't tell you when you woke up from the coma." Said Noah seriously.

Not again.

"I don't want to know." I told him lightly.

"But I won't be able to forgive myself if I don't tell you this."

"I..." I began but he cut me off.

"Kerry the doctor said that... that you could never give birth." He whispered.

I frown. "Why?"

He takes my hand in his and looks straight into my eyes. I purse my lips to prevent them from trembling because the thought of not having my own child was something that I never wanted.