That Summer

I woke up to the sun hitting my face. The windows were cracked open and the sounds of birds chirping filled the room. It was perfect. Michael was still sleeping deeply, but I knew it wouldn't last long. There was a sudden whimper coming from the baby monitor and I knew what meant. Adjusting myself, I tiptoed across the floor and made way to Delilah's room. By the time I had reached the doorway, her screams were echoing throughout the room. Picking her up gently, I brought her close to me as I sat myself down in the rocking chair. Opening up my shirt, I exposed my chest for her to suck on. I leaned my head back as I watched the outside.

Today was the perfect day to spend outside with Michael and the baby. In my mind, different scenarios of how the day could go unfolded in my brain. We could go for a walk throughout the ranch, or go to the petting zoo to introduce the animals to the baby, or just bask in the sun. Either way, today was perfect to spend outside.

"Good morning my lovely ladies." Michael greeted happily, instantly pulling my attention towards him in the doorway. He was still in his pajama and his hair was somewhat disheveled, but it only made him more alluring. He made his way towards us before planting a quick peck on my lips, immediately doing the same on the baby's head.

"What are your plans today?" I asked him,

"Nothing at the moment, why?" He replied.

"I was kind of hoping we could spend the day outside, if you're up for it?" He gave me the biggest grin before nodding his head ecstatically.

"That sounds perfect, Anna. Let me get changed and we can head out." He jolted out of the room as I checked on Delilah. She seemed to be slowing down some, which gave me the perfect time to change her. Setting her down on the changing table, I disposed of her pajamas and got her a clean diaper before replacing her pajamas with a onesie. It was an all-white onesie with pink and yellow flowers all over it, making it perfect for the weather.

I met with Michael in the bedroom as he was finishing up changing. Delilah was fiddling with the ends of my hair mindlessly as I curled her close to my chest,

"Hello again, my beautiful princess," Michael cooed as he lifted her from my arms and held her to his chest. Her arms flailed around happily as he showered her forehead with kisses. I walked over to the closet to find something to wear today. I paired a black bodysuit with a pair of denim shorts and my white nikes for our walk outside. As I went to change, I couldn't help but notice Michael humming a tune to Delilah. I was lost in the sight for a minute until Michael snapped me out of my thoughts,

"Earth to Anna!" He chuckled softly.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I asked him,

"I just asked if you were about ready." He smiled while shaking his head,

"Oh yeah, I just have to throw my clothes on." I rushed into the bathroom and disposed of Michael's t-shirt and replaced it with the outfit choice I picked. Realizing it was a bit warm outside, I threw my hair up in a bun and put on a pair of simple gold hoops. As soon as I was finished, I walked out of the bathroom and followed the sound of Michael's voice into the kitchen. He was prepping Delilah's stroller when I entered the doorway.

"I asked the chef to prep a picnic basket for us." He said to me as he embraced me from the side.

"Looks like you've thought of everything, haven't you?" I chuckled as I checked on the baby who was looking around the room in wonder.

"Some what. Are you ready?" He asked excitedly. Giving him a nod, we both made our way out the door.

...

The day just seemed to get better. How? I'm not sure, but just being in our own little bubble was enough for me. Michael and I walked through the petting zoo, giving each of the animals our daily greeting before walking towards the amusement park. With Delilah being as little as she is, it was hard to do some of the rides, but that didn't stop us from getting on the carousel and ferris wheel. Michael insisted on bringing his camera for us to take pictures with, which meant that I could steal it to take more pictures of him than myself. By now, we made our way to a little field on the property. Michael began setting up a little picnic area as I unbuckled Delilah from her stroller.

"What an amazing day." Michael commented as he dumped down on the picnic blanket. I handed him Delilah as I too took a seat.

"It really was, wasn't it?" I inhaled the air around us and exhaled it deeply.

"I just hate that I'm having to go back on tour in a few weeks." I knew that this point was going to happen, but I just hated that it was coming faster than what we thought.

"I know, but you can't disappoint the fans. They need you." I said, trying to not let the disappointment show.

"I know they do, but I know you need me more." I nudged him slightly to show him that wasn't true.

"At the end of my pregnancy, I handled being on my own just fine. I missed you like crazy, but I didn't want that to be the reason you came home. I was fine then and I'll be fine now. I'll still be with you on tour, but you have an obligation to your fans that comes first." He sighed heavily as he laid Delilah down on his lap, placing her pacifier in her mouth.

"I know and I don't want anyone to think otherwise, but it's different now that I have a family. Touring takes a lot out of you and I don't want the baby to grow up in different time zones."

"We'll take it day by day. That's what we do." I reassured him with a smile.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you." He said softly, almost unbelievably.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you either." I replied. Instead of smiling, he shook his head and looked at me seriously.

"I mean it, Anna. I don't know how someone like me ever deserved someone like you. For the past decade and a half, I've disappointed you and let you down, but you still let me back in and love me endlessly. Why?" He said with such curiosity and wonder.

"Michael, I look at it this way. When we met, I was needing a friend. Someone to comfort me in a time where I really didn't have anyone. You protected me and made me feel whole. That was something that, at the time, felt foreign to me. Yeah you hurt me, but the thing is, I hurt myself. I pushed every reminder of you away because I never wanted to feel pain again. But one day in New York, there you were. It was like fate was calling out to me to try again. Us being together was something that was not coincidental, this was something that was meant to happen. You may not think that you are worthy enough to be with me, but I think it's the other way around. I have hurt you too, I've lied, and I've just been cold to you. Yet you still loved me and married me. To me, I think we both needed each other more than what we think. We were meant for each other." I cupped his chin with my hand and pulled him in for a deep and longing kiss.

"I do too." He said with a bright smile on his face. He looked down at Delilah who was staring wide-eyed at him with a smile on her face. In a matter of seconds he picked her up from the ground and walked with her towards the endless fields before us.

For years I've been thankful for many things. I've been thankful for a family that took me in when times were rough. Not only did that provide me with a moment of serendipity, but it also provided them with the same. I've been thankful to have such an amazing best friend who has stood with me through thick and thin and has always put others before herself. I've been thankful to have such an amazing husband who does so much good for his family and the world and has loved me despite my epic fails and successes and has encouraged me to go the extra mile for my own happiness. I've been thankful for a daughter who has brought such a wonderful reminder of how grand life is and how precious each moment really is. She brought the life back into me and for that I am so thankful to be her mother. Finally, I'm also thankful for that summer...because it truly changed my life forever.

Thank you to everyone who has stood by me in this journey. I have been writing this book for FIVE YEARS and it has finally come to a close. This was my first ever MJ Fanfic and I am so honored to have been able to share, what started out as a thought and eventually turned into a book, with you all. Words can not describe my gratitude and love for each and every one of you that made this book possible. You all are my rock and my light and I love you guys so much!! xxxx