Chapter 34

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by xviiblack

by xviiblack

Zayn

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I've thrown shit against the wall and contemplated chucking my phone as well but then I won't know if she calls back.

I've called so many times and she hasn't answered. She said she was taking a shower, but this has to be the longest shower in the history of Charlotte. I've spent enough time quasi-living with her now to know she takes the most efficient showers on the planet. I would also know because I'm usually trying to keep her in there.

I don't understand her reaction. She was the one who said she wouldn't go. I didn't ask her not to.

I can't help it if I don't want her ogled by strangers at the photo shoot and then later when the pictures inevitably come out. Whether she likes it or not, her name is now on people's radar. They will find the pictures and they will be a much bigger deal than some bikini brand's campaign.

I know it's fucking ridiculous, and really fucking hypocritical coming from me. I just did an underwear shoot for a cool few million a few months ago.

But it's different. I'm already up for public consumption. She doesn't need to be. I want to keep her life as close to normal as possible. And selfishly I don't get many things just to myself, and I'd like her to stay one of them.

Which is why I haven't asked her to come to the Grammys with me. Joe has asked me at least ten times if I want to bring her, and I keep saying no. I don't know if she would even want to come.

I should probably ask her. What if she does? It doesn't seem like a very Charlie thing to want to do, but it is the Grammys. Just because I've been to a bunch of them and the heavy awards collect dust in my New York apartment doesn't mean it's not exciting to some people.

What if it is exciting to Charlie?

I grab my phone and text her for the first time since she hung up on me.

"Would you like to come to the Grammys with me?"

I sit and wait. And wait some more. No response. She must be really pissed about this photo shoot thing.

But I'm not going to budge on that. It's for her own good.

Twenty more minutes go by of me sitting in my dressing room, with assorted people checking in on me and me assuring them I'm fine even though I'm stewing in a mess of shit I threw about the room.

Eventually her lack of response makes me head to my tour bus. She's not going to want to face time anymore. I'll be lucky if I get a text.

I settle into my bunk and decide to call up Harry. I haven't talked to him in a few days, and it feels nice hearing a familiar voice. It's the next best thing to Charlotte.

In typical Harry fashion, he's asking about Charlie and concerned about everything in my life even though I've been a shit friend lately. I'm happy to hear him sound a lot better than last time we talked. Nadine dumping him for the third time seems to have stuck and he seems less hung up on her now.

I can't imagine the mess I'd be in if Charlie dumped me. What if she's thinking about it? What if that's why she won't answer my calls?

I let my best mate weigh in on everything swimming in my mind and even though he doesn't really know my girl he makes me feel better.

"She's not going to dump you, man," his deep voice guarantees. "It's just your first fight. They're very normal in real, grown-up adult relationships. Happen all the time."

I know I can trust him, and I wish I had a tenth of his knowledge of women. He's always been so good with them. Harry has had so many girlfriends. Usually older women, because he's had a thing for them since we were in grade eight and he started dating someone in Uni.

"I'm just so fucking scared that I'm going to lose her. That's she's going to get over all this shit that comes with me one morning and..."

"She knows who you are. She's had a pretty good taste of what your life is like. If she were going to run, she would have by now. Just keep working your Malik charms. And don't be such a jealous psycho about her modeling stuff."

He's right. But it's a lot easier said than done.