stars and terrain (zayn malik)

Chapter 25

Charlotte

I'm pouring over photos on Pinterest of the aesthetic I want for Zayn's living room while sitting at Alli's table.

It's only been five days since he left. He's performed five concerts and I've searched twitter and instagram to catch people's snaps and videos from the shows. It's surreal, seeing him through cell phone lenses belonging to screaming girls desperate for a piece of him.

My favorite things to stalk are the meet and greet photos. I get to see him closer, usually with a steadier lens, and I can see his outfit in more detail and his beard getting thicker each night and sometimes I can hear his speaking voice when people take videos.

Alli has caught me a few times doing this new embarrassing habit, but she just laughs or drools over how hot he looks.

And I can't blame her because he does always look gorgeous.

I've now told her everything. That afternoon before my shift after I dropped him off it all just spilled out of me. I needed someone else to know, for it to feel more real. And I was glad I told her when later that night I got home later to find a hoard of paparazzi in front of my building. It made it easier to explain why I showed up on her doorstep with no clothes or even a toothbrush at midnight.

The day after that someone gave them a name. One gossip blog claimed to have the exclusive, and said a "close friend" identified me, Charlotte Ray. The "close friend" had a lot of other phony details about our relationship they pedaled to this blog, which must have been the highest bidder, and it made me feel nauseated wondering who it could have been.

It was obviously no one who really knew anything, except how to identify my face, but it still felt like a strange betrayal. And after my name got out every social media account of mine was inundated with friend requests, messages and tweets. I made everything private and forced myself to refrain from peeking at all the contact strangers were attempting to make.

Zayn was lovely about everything; a little overprotective about making sure I was doing okay by checking in multiple times a day, but sweet. He was livid when my name got leaked, and he promised to figure out who did it but I called him off.

He checked in with Sarah, the interior designer, about ten times a day. I knew because he had me copied on the emails, and was often reminding her I really needed to start staying at the house as soon as possible.

My eyes flitted to the key to the new place, now attached to the same keychain that housed my apartment and car keys. It seemed like we were on track to have the first round of furniture delivered in a few days - the same day Zayn's break started. I planned to stay at Alli's until then, and he apologized a hundred times daily for disrupting my life.

"There are still stragglers." Alli's voice breaks my thoughts, coming from the doorway. She's just getting home from work, which makes me realize it's four o'clock and I haven't moved from her table since noon. "They took my picture and asked me if I knew you. Don't worry, I said no."

She drops her gym bag brimming with my clothes and underwear on to the table in front of me. She has been the world's greatest friend this week.

"One of them was kind of cute," she raises an eyebrow and drops down in the chair across from me. "Also, today a couple people asked if you worked there so I think Paula is going to cancel your shift tomorrow."

"Shit," I hiss.

It's probably what I've been most worried about; this bleeding into my work and not letting me make my own money. Fortunately I booked the last casting I went to and my agent has called more in the last five days than he has in four years.

I can't help but wonder if these requests and castings are due to my name's newfound buzz, but push back the thought.

"When was the last time you talked to him?" Alli asks. She asks this a lot, and requests so many details about everything. I usually humor her, but there are some things I don't want to share with anyone but him.

"He facetimed me like an hour ago. Want to see what I picked out for the living room?" Alli nods and I turn my computer screen, showing off the couches and end tables I'd sent to Sarah earlier.

"Can you just take a second to realize you're decorating a mansion for Zayn Malik. And then you're going to go live in it with him?" Alli exclaims, her blue eyes wide to emphasize her point. "Your life is insane right now."

"I know," I rake my teeth over my bottom lip before bursting out in a smile.

Occasionally the reality of my current state sinks in, but I usually get brought back to the surface when a real world problem presents itself. Like needing something from my apartment that I can't get to due to paparazzi, or pulling out my phone only to see random numbers texting or calling asking questions about Zayn Malik. I don't know how my number has circulated so quickly, but I know I need to get a new phone number soon.

Zayn just did as well. He says I'm one of about ten people that have it, which made me giddy. Any worries I'd had about him returning to the road and falling back into his old habits have completely dissipated. I'm in contact with him almost every waking moment and we're on Skype from the tour bus before he goes to sleep every night.

"You're coming with me to Stacey's birthday Friday, right?"

Stacey is one of our friends signed to the same modeling agency. She's closer to Alli, but of all the girls from that world she's my favorite.

I hadn't been thinking of going out to a club for her party, but since I'm staying at Alli's I will probably get dragged along. It will give me something to do until Zayn's plane lands that night, since he won't be getting in until late. He booked the first flight after his show that night, but with the time difference that won't get him here until around one in the morning.

"Sure, yeah," I nod, with feigned enthusiasm.

"Oh thank god!" Alli exclaims, "I can't stand half those girls. Especially Hillary. She's going to die when she hears who you're dating, by the way. Make sure you tell her."

"Yeah, Al, that will be the first thing I say. Hey Hillary, how are you, did you hear I'm dating Zayn Malik?"

We both giggle at this, the girl in question is definitely the most obnoxious one of the bunch. She's been known to date a few famous faces herself, but is the type that makes sure everyone knows. I, on the other hand, am actively trying to squelch anyone in my real life knowing anything except Alli.

I haven't even confirmed it with my mother, who I really need to call back. I've been dreading it, but I've put it off for too long.

"I should probably go call my mom back," I sigh, grabbing my phone and standing from the table. "I'll be on the balcony if you need me."

"Good luck!" Alli calls as I shut the sliding glass door behind myself, settling into her patio chair. I take a deep breath before pressing her name on my screen. This is not going to be fun.