stars and terrain (zayn malik)

Chapter 26

Zayn

Friday.

I woke up at eleven and knew I was hours away from seeing my girl. That countdown I started in her car what feels like months ago is finally about to run out. I worked out and jogged tonight's stadium with a couple guys in the band to kill more time, knowing the day would drag. I finished sound check, and I've spent the last few hours playing video games in the tour bus, waiting to get closer to show time which means closer to take off which means closer to seeing her.

I drive myself crazy thinking about all the men who come into contact with her on a daily basis. I'm just so jealous they might get to watch her smile or hear her laugh when I'm trapped across the continent.

I know I need to relax my jealous streak, but I have no experience with having a girlfriend. I've never cared about what a girl I slept with did when they weren't with me.

It's weird territory, to constantly be wondering and worrying where another person is. To have it feel like your heart is walking around somewhere outside your body unprotected. Ever since I've officially made her mine that's how I've been feeling.

I don't want to share her. I've spent five months making up reasons to be near her and now that I don't need to anymore I'm ready to just be together all the time.

I know I'm being a dick, that it's probably worse for her knowing I am getting bras thrown on stage and girls at meet and greets sliding me their phone numbers. But I know myself, I know that I'm done with all of that.

I don't know if she's going to get sick of not being able to get to her own fucking apartment because of me. If she's going to get tired of being spotted when she's just out at frozen yogurt with her friend, which she told me happened yesterday.

Aside from her name it doesn't seem like the press has uncovered much more about her. They figured out where she worked, and she sounded so pissed when she explained how her boss asked her to take some time off until this dies down. I wish she would let me just pay for everything.

My phone buzzes in my bunk and I grab it, hoping for her name. It's the next best thing, Harry, telling me he's heading back to London after having another blow out with Nadine. I knew I should have warned him. I feel bad for being so wrapped up in Charlie, I've been such a shitty friend.

Originally I was going to spend this upcoming break with him in London, but I'm not sure when I'll see him now so I tell him to put the ticket on my card and ask him to take me up on the offer of coming on tour. He says no, like he always does, and I know I need to find some time to spend with him.

How does everyone do this? Balance their friends when they're crazy in love with someone? I just want to run to California every free second I have.

There's a knock at the door and my assistant ducks her head in.

"Hey Zayn!" Holly's sweet and does a great job of making sure I get all the weird shit I need to do done everyday. She's been working for me for years, and we hooked up in the very beginning. I regret that now, because I feel like her and Charlie would be friends. No way that's happening now, I don't want Charlie finding out and feeling jealous of her since she's around all the time.

"Hey Holly," I smile. "What are you doing for the break?"

"New York," Holly answers, it's where she has built her home base since that's where I'm usually based. "But sounds like I might need to look into places in California."

I wish I didn't have so many lives wrapped up with mine.

I make a joke about better weather and Holly shows me some new outfits my stylist has sent in for on stage. I pick one and she tells me it will be waiting in my dressing room before heading off for dinner.

Once she's gone I know it's the last few minutes I'll have before I need to get ready for the show, so I call Charlie.

"Hi! Almost show time?"

Her voice makes me smile. "Hey. Almost, just hanging out in the bus before I head in there. What are you doing?"

"Well, I'm waiting for Alli to get home from work. She's actually working the shift that was supposed to be mine." There's an edge to her voice, which I don't think is directed at me, but I wince and say sorry for the nine thousandth time.

"It's fine," she says curtly. "So when she gets home we've got to get ready for that birthday party I told you about."

Oh, right. The birthday party she doesn't really want to go to. She'd explained one of their friends was throwing it at the club-of-the-moment in LA.

I didn't love the idea of Charlie in a club without me, but I wouldn't be landing until twelve thirty. From the way she talked about the night I had a feeling she'd be home way before I could meet her there, but if she was still out I wasn't opposed to the idea.

"What are you wearing?" I ask, my eyes drawing up and waiting to picture it.

"I'm probably borrowing something of Alli's. I don't really have all that much club wear." I can hear her smirk, and I wish face time would work on my fucking tour bus.

"I sent you all my flight information, I'll text you as soon as I land." I say, knowing as much as I want to keep listening to her talk I need to head into the venue.

"I'm probably going to be at Alli's by then, so you can just pick me up and we can head to Malibu?"

Sarah has been sending us pictures of all the furniture being delivered today, and I've been picturing us in the huge King bed that's now sitting in the master bedroom ever since.

"Of course. I love you."

"I love you too, have a good show! See you tonight."

I wait for her to hang up before pulling my phone from my ear. Hours. Just hours left.