𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐚 ➪ 𝐛. 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐨 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫.

"I'm only going to ask you once, Finn. Leave right now before I put you on your ass." Bellamy seethes from beside me. Slowly, I turn around and face him. He looks completely broken. He didn't look the same as he did in the village, but he also didn't look the way he had before everything. At that moment, my heart began to race as he was at the same distance, and same stance as he was when he shot me. It feels like I'm reliving it all over again, and I'm unable to keep my eyes on his. I let out a shaky breath as I look anywhere but directly at him, my bottom lip beginning to quiver. "I just want to talk, please." He pleaded, his voice cracking as he pleaded.

I look up to him, taking a deep breath in. "I said-" Bellamy begins, but I raise my hand and place it on his shoulder, stopping him from standing up. "Right now, all I want is a drink. I'll talk to you, but not.... not now. I don't think I'm ready." I stated, looking away as I swallowed hard. "I understand." He spoke before taking off. Raven looked as if she wanted to follow after him, but she stayed, putting me before him. "I'll get the drinks." Clarke said shakily, turning to head off. "I'll help." Murphy added, following after her. "You okay?" Octavia questioned as I nodded, my heart continuing to pound. "If you talk to him, I'm coming with you." Bellamy said firmly, shifting in his seat. "No-" I started, but he cut me off. "He can't be trusted. The last thing we need is for you to get hurt again, or worse, killed." He rambled, dropping his hand. "He won't hurt me, Bellamy." I reassured, knowing he would never on purpose. "Tell that to the wound in your abdomen. If he had been any closer, that bullet he fired could've hit your spine, liver, intestines, or anything in that area. You could have died, or been paralyzed."

"But I'm not." I reminded him, tilting my head. "Whoever that was back there, it wasn't the Finn I grew up with. Not the one we knew back at the drop ship. I'm not by any means defending what he did; but I know Finn. I've known him probably longer than I've known anybody else. I saw his face after he had realized what he had done. It's like a switch flipped- I watched the way his facial expression changed. I saw pure fear in his eyes. He snapped back from whatever trance he was in, and immediately dropped his weapon to his side; he had been just as shocked as I was." I went on, trying to reach a point that Bellamy wouldn't perceive. I understood, though. Finn had done something that most would deem unforgivable. 

By the time I had finished talking, Clarke and Murphy had come back, giving each of us drinks before sitting back down. "How about we finish this conversation later, and just enjoy these drinks." I suggested, just wanting to not talk about this any longer. "I think Lincoln has mentioned Abylon before." Octavia spoke up, gaining my attention. "Most villagers considered him a traitor- the lost warrior."

I shook my head, recalling my mentor's story as my heart ached for him. "He was mistreated and rejected by his own community for loving someone... so he left. I can't say that I blame him... especially not since his lover was killed for loving him. Anya was the only one who stuck by his side." I revealed, growing sad as I drank. "I need to go back out there- see if he's okay." 

"You can't." Both Clarke and Bellamy said in unison. "You have to stay here, where you're safe. Trying to leave would risk us our lives." Bellamy continued as I shook my head. "He was hit when Finn... when he did what he did." 

"What does he look like?" Octavia inquired, sitting forward. "Tall, dark curly hair, has a beard and scar above his right eyebrow-" I replied, watching as her eyes looked to the table, analyzing. "Was he with Nyko?" 

"Yes- Nyko is one of his friends... did you see him?" 

"He's okay. Nyko was tending to him before I left." She revealed as I sat back in my chair, letting a sigh of relief out. "Did you and him become... close?" Bellamy questioned amidst the silence, shifting in his seat. "He was my mentor. He helped me to blend in... hence these tattoos. He also taught me some of their language... how to defend myself. I worked as a healer for a while when needed per Anya's request, Nyko replaced me. Probably for the best since they don't have the same ways that we do."

"She was going to keep me there as their healer when they captured Finn and I..." Clarke divulged as I tried not to flinch at his name being mentioned. "I'm pretty sure that's the only reason Anya let me live." I added, though I knew the whole warrior talk was another reason. I didn't know why, but I wanted to keep my training and newfound skills to myself, just for now.

I asked Murphy what had overcome Finn in that village, and he told me it was because he lost his mind trying to find Clarke and I. He had tried to stop him, and almost did, but right as they were walking off, an older man tried to make a run for it, and Finn just snapped. Killing one, by one.

Murphy had left after that conversation, and that's when I was informed about his attempt to hang Bellamy, followed by him shooting Raven. Raven was the one to tell me what had happened to her leg, and I couldn't even imagine the pain she had went through. Octavia told me about her separation from Lincoln, and when she became emotional, I held her hand in hopes of comforting her.

We talked about so much, and hadn't realized how much time had passed. It was past midnight, and almost everyone had gone off to bed for the night. Bellamy offered for me to sleep in his room since Octavia had a single-bedded room, and I accepted, agreeing to figure out later. The last thing I wanted was to be alone or with someone I was unfamiliar with. 

Having thought my friends were dead, the relief I felt knowing I was proved otherwise was like a breath of fresh air. I couldn't imagine what life would've been like if I was the only one left... I don't think I could do it. Even if Abylon taught me that there's always something to fight for... who would I have to do so? What would avenging them prove? I doubted it would even make me feel better if I tried.

"What are you thinking about?" Bellamy's voice came from beside me as we were walking to his room, pulling me from my thoughts. "Oh... nothing of importance." I replied as we approached his door. He opened it, letting me walk in first as he switched the lights on. It was a simple, minimalistic room with just a bed, desk, and trunk of clothes. "Well then how are you feeling?" He inquired as I sat myself on the edge of his bed. "I'm okay."

Slowly, he came and sat down beside me, letting out a sigh. "Astoria... you almost died by the hands of someone you trusted. You have to feel deeper than just okay." He insisted, leaning forward to look at me as I kept my gaze focused on my hands in my lap. When I said nothing, he cautiously placed a hand on top of mine, pulling my focus to him. His face displayed sympathy and curiosity, wanting me to open up. "I don't really know what I feel. All I know is I'm confused, and I'm hurt. I thought all of you were dead... and I didn't know how to live with that. When I found out you guys were, the one I viewed as my best friend shot me after massacring an innocent village. I'm angry, but I'm hurt, and I don't know what to do." I rambled, angst building up within me as a spark threatened to ignite a fire inside. 

"That was pretty good for someone who doesn't know what they're feeling." He softly grinned, rubbing his thumb over my hands. "What you're feeling... it's a valid reaction. Hell, I'd be angry too. I'd want payback-"

"But I don't want payback. I want to know why, but it's hard when anytime I look at Finn, I freeze. I feel the bullet hit me, and I watch as the world fades to black. I thought that was it. I've never felt fear like that before... and I hate being afraid." I admitted, clenching my jaw as tears began to line my waterline. His eyebrows drew close together at this before he wrapped an arm around my body, pulling me into him. He rested his chin atop my head as his other hand held the back of my neck, rubbing it gently. I blinked back my tears as I wrapped my arms around his, holding his shoulders. Breathing heavily, I thanked any higher power for bringing me to this moment. I hadn't known how badly I needed to be held until now. 

Once we pulled away from each other, he glanced at his bed, and then to the floor. "You can take my bed. I'm just going to set up here on the floor." He implied, coming to a stance. Before he could walk away, I reached for his wrist, wrapping my hand around it. His body turned to face me, eyes moving from my grasp to my eyes. I looked up at him, lips parting slightly. "I don't want to be alone." I muttered; though I wouldn't be alone since he'd still be in the room, he knew what I meant by saying those words. He nodded, taking off his boots and walking to the bed side. I crawled over to the opposing side, climbing under the covers after removing my own shoes.

After turning off the lights, he got in the bed beside me, facing towards me. His eyes wandered my face for a second before he spoke. "Goodnight, Astoria."

"Goodnight Bellamy."