BSD ~ Waffles!! ~ Shin soukoku & Soukoku

The curtains close. - FINALE

I could feel my hands shaking,

Every tap I left on my screen hurt.

The worst part was probably pulling it up to my ear and hearing it ring.

Somehow I kind of knew,

I knew that every face I'd see in these moments would be the last and that every footstep was nearing my last.

Trying not to fall into another coughing fit and end up in the same room.

Trying not to seem as weak as I felt.

Trying to smile at the nurses I passed by.

Every time I tried I feel like I failed.

Walking up a stairwell and hearing the same ringtone echo through the pit of stairs.

"please leave a message after the tone"

Ah, I guess that was expected. He's probably busy anyway.

I hung my mouth open for a moment, letting the cold breeze slip into my dry mouth.

"Hey Atsushi," I started, with a small smile, one of the most genuine I'd felt in a while. "I wanted to say I'm sorry first of all," I reached the roof, opening the padlock and letting the door swing open, making a loud bang onto the metal walls around it. "Maybe I should have told you everything at the start. I was..I was scared I'd lose you. But now I realize that I'm losing you either way." I looked up to the cloudy sky, "There's so much I have yet to learn about you, and you have yet to learn about me. I wish..."

"I wish we had more time."

"But, the world works in ways where your life could flash before you any moment. I think the beauty of life--not knowing when and believing in immortality sub-consciously. But when you know you're going to pass, It makes life like a race. Trying to get as much done, because you don't have all the time in the world anymore. You only have so little, and you're watching yourself decay and wither away to nothing."

I walked over, my bare feet freezing as they stood on the concrete.

"But, I think it's more painful when you're watching someone else slowly die. So, I guess you can consider this my own favor to you..." I stood there for a moment, giving a prolonged sigh before continuing, "I'm sorry. If I knew you would come along my path, I would have taken my pills and accepted treatment. I was a fool who didn't want to live, it's not that it didn't continue, but when I was with you, I felt happier then I did before. Really happy actually."

I took a deep inhale, exhaling after a few long moments and looking up to the yellow and purple sky, sprinkled in distant stars and brushed over with dark yet soft and fluffy clouds. "I think meeting you showed me the beauty of life. I don't regret meeting you that one day at school, how shy and kind you were as cherry blossom petals blew by your face. The way they reflected in those sunset eyes of yours, I think I knew from that moment that you were going to change my life."

The wind continued, sweeping aside my bangs, strands of hair falling out and into the wind.

I held up my weak and bony hand, blocking the sunbeams that shined my way. "Life is beautiful, I used to hate it. I only saw the ugly in it until I met you. Life is so fucking beautiful....In so many ways its beautiful. So...Thank you." I said with a small smile, watching as a pink petal, fresh and soft, land onto the palm of my hand. This time it didn't wither away and dry up, it remained fresh and beautiful. Radiating its bright pink colors with pride before flying away with the breeze that swept by.

"Love you till death,"

"That's stupid..."

"Love you always,"