36.It's not...

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Anord's POV:

Everything disappeared like a smoke. I had not thought that I would be this motionless and restless. I did not want to hurt her but I ended up hurting her.

We cannot keep the person where they do not belong and so was she. She left the pack where she was cherish, left the people around her and left me.

When I thought about it, I felt guilty but then it was her decision to leave. I had never force her and would never force her.

It's up to her to decide what she wanted. Yet she accused me of cheating without bothering to ask me once if it was true.

How could she leave me?

I thought she wanted to be with me and had accepted me but no, she left telling me that I was at fault.

It shocked me more when she slapped me in front of the whole pack. I mean she just slap their alpha, their king.

I had to control my emotions to not to bang her head then. If it had been  other she wolf then she would had been dead by now.

My wolf went crazy and I need to calm down my wolf saying that she is our mate and a human. He hated how she reacted in the whole crowd.

She just cry and cry but never told me what I did to make her feel that I cheated her.

Yeah I had done bad things before but now when I have her in front of me I don't want anything other than to keep her to myself but she left me.

Never once she look back and asked me why had I cheat her. I know I might have done something that had hurt her but she did not have to accuse me of lying.

"Alpha, you should calm down. It's not..." Tate told me in a low voice while pleading me to stop trashing things on the floor.

"How can I not calm down? How Tate? When your mate look at you with a accusing gaze. How?" I sigh out loud and fell down on the floor with a thud.

When she had left in her car, I became so angry that I couldn't see anything except red. I became violent and ran through the woods.

I so wanted to stop her, to say that I'm not going to let you go but the promise of keeping my mate happy made me stop.

I didn't show any emotion as if she would see how messed up and broken I'm from inside. Somewhere I know that she would regret but I couldn't stop her as it was her choice. I let my wolf took a run and let out all his frustration.

He was trying to take control and made her stop but I didn't let him so he got angry with me. He didn't let me strip and change into werewolf.

After running for hours, I came back to pack house and went to my work room. On the way I could see Swez giving me sad look telling me that I hurt her best friend but she didn't know that I too was hurt.

Since then I have been thrashing things here and there as I feel lonely. I had  been alone before but now it's hurt to be lone.

She has change me in so many ways that I feel like I cannot live without her but I have to because it's what my mate wanted.

I feel weak when it comes to her as I do not want to loose her. Somehow she does not have to witness the cruelty of our world. But staying without her will kill me from inside.

"Everyone is worrying for you Alpha. Please maintain yourself. Everything will be good soon." Tate tried to assure me.

"Soon. I hope it will be that way but I don't know why she left? She didn't even tell me." 

"I'm sorry Alpha but she might have seen you and Serenity together and assume..." Tate trail off and I got the point.

God! Damnit how could she think that I would choose Serenity over her?

I will never do that to her as she is  the one made for me and will never decline the gift the moon goddess have given me. She is way more special to me than she can think.

She is the one who makes me feel like I deserve everything. Happiness and love which were foreign to me, she was the one made me feel that I too can give happiness and love someone. She change my perspective and me but somewhere she became emotional and couldn't think straight.

"Oh! God Ukrine. You just left without knowing everything." I sigh in frustration.

"Alpha you must tell her. I know she didn't want to leave this place, us and you." Tate said with a sad smile.

"She was crying a lot. And you must protect her from Xeres. He is upto something. Here is something for you." Tate said while placing the package on the table.

"I hope to see you okay. She will surely come back once she knows everything." Tate said and left the room after giving me a look of concern.

I have not thought that my mate would be stupid to think that Serenity meant something to me as I have only known her through the meetings. It was just that she had not found her mate yet and I was also in the same condition before I met my mate, Ukrine.

The council had told me that it would be better if I gave them their queen as it would be helpful to do the works. Serenity is the Alpha of darkmoon pack and she is a strong woman but I don't feel anything for her. And I had told them that I would consider their proposal but never thought about it much.

As deep down I felt I will meet my mate soon and finally she came with a memory lost which was helpful for us to make her stay for long.

Today Serenity and I had a meeting together and when I met her she told me that her sandal had broken so needed a help so I held her hand and she said a lame joke to which I laughed. And that must be when Urkine saw us together and thought of us as a thing.

Discarding the thought, I rubbed my face with my hands and went to see the package. It stated the plan of Xeres.

I was not expecting this from him but now it seem like he wants to play a game so let's play along. I'm so ready for this game and I know I would win.

Ukrine you have made a choice already and now it's my turn to make a choice.

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