Written in Ink

Forty-two | Alonzo

Speaking of Reagan, I haven't seen her all day.

I rise from the meeting office and make my way to my office where she should be sitting. I open the door and my eyes go right to the couch expecting to see her. But when I don't, I panic.

Relief floods me when I see her sitting on my desk. "You kept this?"

I make my way over to the desk, putting my laptop down. "Yes. At the time I didn't know why..." I admit to her. "But now I do." I look into her breathtaking hazel eyes, noticing her blush. "So it sits there on my desk for me to look at and appreciate."

She laughs nervously. "I don't know how you 'appreciate' a rock but..."

I laugh with her slightly before coming closer. "It's more than just a 'rock'."

She stands from the chair and I take it and pull her onto my lap. She is surprised for a second and tries to get up, but I don't allow her to move. I latch my arms around her waist and torso, putting my nose in the crook of her neck, letting out a sigh of relief before inhaling the mouthwatering scent she has.

"Comfortable?" She giggles. I simply nod my head to answer. "Long meeting? Tough day?" Her voice is so soothing.

"Mhm."

She kisses my forehead. "Poor thing." She says, I feel her smile against my head. Surprisingly, she then wraps her arms around my neck and shoulders, holding me close to her and lets out a breath.

Who knew I was such a sucker for cuddling.

I want nothing more than to just sit like this forever. She is so warm, like she is unthawing the ice that shut my heart off from the world—hell, she has melted my heart by now. I love her and can't let her go. No "if you love her, let her go" bullshit. I can't let her go.

"Amore. We have to do something." I explain, looking up at her.

She tilts her head. "Like what?"

"The Gala is coming up. In two weeks to be exact. There is an annual dance you still have to learn." I state.

I see a slight panic in her eyes as soon as I said the word "dance". I can tell that is something she is uncomfortable with. She presses her lips into a fine line. "What if I just sat out for that?" She offers.

I raise a brow. "Absolutely not. You'll be with me on that daning court. Wearing your amazing dress, looking as beautiful and sexy as ever." I say. "Whether you like it or not."

She blushes again. "What if I just mess it up?"

"You won't. And so what if you do?" I brush it off so it seems like no big deal for her. I stand up, lifting her along with me and setting her down onto her feet gently. "Let me show you how.

I turn on the music for the number and I see her reaction to listening to it. She seems to like it.

I put my hand on her hip and stand side by side with her with her hand on my shoulder. I explain to her the next move and she does it correctly. I knew she'd be a natural.

Only an hour later is when she stops. "This is hard." She says out of breath from coming back from a spin.

"Tell me about it." I laugh. "But we are done for the time. We got through just about half."

"Only half?!" She gasps.

I laugh. "Yes, only half. But we can call it a night and go home."

She nods her head happily in agreement.

We get home and get some food in us before going up to bed. She goes to change while I quickly get in the shower so that I can get back to Reagan. When I'm done with the shower and dressed, I climb into bed and frown when I see she is asleep. I was hoping for time to talk. I love listening to her. But not wanting to wake her, I just pull her into my chest where I know she likes to lay.

She likes being close with me. Her reactions to my compliments show enough that she feels something for me. I want her to feel something for me.

Everyday I look at her with admiration. My family and I had no right to take her. It was so selfish. It is so selfish. She is so strong to last as long as she has. She doesn't complain about anything. Anymore at least. Is it because she is too scared to, or because she has accepted it? God I hope neither.

I'm mad at myself for making her stay. There was a point where I would have let her go because I loved her. But now I'm at the point where I can't even imagine letting her go. This love is stronger. Something I can't let go. I don't know what I would do. I'd spiral back into my old self. Give more reasons for me to hate myself.

I just want to be better for her.

Thoughts?