Regret

Chapter twenty-four

I'm thankful for that night on the Astronomy tower because I haven't seen Draco since. I think we've spoken 10 words in the last five days and I'm to blame. I spend all of my time with the DA, and I'm starting to feel bad.

In the evenings I'm tired as it is, and going to spend time with Draco feels wrong when all I do is sleep. And when I'm not as tired, I have to choose who I'm spending time with - Ginny or Draco. It's driving me insane having to balance it all out.

I'm sitting with Ginny, Neville and Luna in the Room of Requirement and we're talking strategy. So far, from what we've been told we know that we will all be fighting in pairs, or groups. No one should be left to fight alone. So, we're currently thinking of pairs.

"Okay, not to sound doubtful, but I definitely think every one should be paired off with an adult. We practiced, but we're not nearly as good as they are." I say, staring down at the list of Order members.

"Oh, I agree completely. Just in case someone chickens out, or is too afraid to fight." Ginny adds.

"Or to enhance our chance of survival Gin." I say pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah. That too." I laugh a little.

"Are you guys afraid?" Neville asks, after being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Of course we are Nev." I say gently.

"How are you doing that well then?"

"I suppose I have trust in us, that we can win this war. Besides, I have something to fight for. My family, my friends, Draco."

"I wonder what that's like." Neville says sadly.

I remember what happened to his parents and I take his hand lightly.

"You have what to fight for, Nev. You have your grandma, your parents too, even if they don't remember. You have us too."

"Thanks Ellie."

"If anything Neville, you can fight for your cactus." Luna adds hopefully.

We all laugh.

"There you go Neville, you can't die because no one will care for your cactus." Ginny adds, absolutely not helping my cause.

"Gin!" I say but we all laugh again, including Neville.

At that moment the Room of Requirement opens and Draco walks in.

"Hey Gryffindorks. You too Lovegood." 

"What the fuck Malfoy. How are you in here?"

"I asked the room for my girlfriend. Would have been awkward if it didn't open to this room." He says cockily.

"How did you even know we were here?"

"Darling, it was us who busted you last year. I assumed you didn't bother changing locations."

"What do you need?" I ask him, taking his hand.

"Like I said, my girlfriend."

"Is busy, as you can see." Ginny adds from behind us.

"Wasn't talking to you Weaslette."

"Behave, both of you." I warn.

I turn back to Draco and say "I'll come see you later I promise."

I lean in and kiss him softly. Ginny starts booing from behind us.

"Gin." I say looking back at her.

Draco leans in and whispers "Dammit Lupin, I miss you. You spend all your time here. You're wasting your life."

He wraps his hands around my waist and I look up at him "I know Dray I miss you too. I'll come to your dorm after I'm done here I promise."