Regret

Chapter six

The holidays went by way too quickly. Leaving home had never hit me this hard. I am on the Hogwarts express, on our way back to school. Both Ginny and I are in a lousy mood. Despite the war and every other evil looming around, we had fun there. It was safe and comfortable, and we were with our family. But, tomorrow, it's back to classes and the wrath of Carrows.

"You okay, Gin?" I ask, seeing how she's visibly upset.

"No." she mutters under her breath.

"What's up?" I sit up straighter, giving her my full attention.

"Fred and George saved themselves."

"Well, obviously. I don't think we can pull what they did though. Umbridge threatened with expulsion. They threat with Unforgivables. I won't be surprised if someone drops dead soon."

It's gloomy, but it's true. They have been increasing their ruthlessness by the day. Ginny seems to agree because she just nods and turns to look out of the window. I go back to my book and let the topic drop.

After an hour or so, the train comes to a halt, and we start filing out of it. It's not long before we are all seated at the Great Hall and awaiting Snape's speech. Luckily, his aren't as elaborate as Dumbledore's were. We quickly eat dinner, and we make our way to our dorms. I go to bed immediately, but after an hour or so of tossing and turning, I decide I need to get some of my energy out before I can fall asleep. I decide to go to the Astronomy tower. It's not the most uplifting place to go to, seeing as our headmaster was murdered there, but it seems the least likely to have someone else there. However, I am once again proved wrong. Why did I think I could ever escape him? As soon as I walk onto the Astronomy tower, I can see his platinum hair reflecting under moonlight. Of course it's him. Why wouldn't it be? He seems to realize my presence and I turn to leave.

"In a rush, Lupin?"

"Didn't want to interrupt, Malfoy."

"You're not. Sit." And he gestures to the space next to him. Some force pushes me, and I do.

"Are you stalking me Lupin? I at least thought I was safe here."

"I'm not that bored, Malfoy." I stop for a second "I thought I was safe too."

"Looks like we're both wrong." He mutters.

I then notice his looks. His shirt is half unbuttoned, revealing his muscles beneath. Damn it. His hair is all over the place and his tie is askew. And then the smell of Firewhiskey hits me.

"Still drunk, Malfoy?"

"I've been drunk since December 22nd, Lupin."

"Wh- "

"Don't ask me why" he cuts me off "I already told you."

"Is going home really so bad?"

"Would you go to my house sober, Lupin?" he says, but realization hits him, and his mouth snaps shut.

"I wouldn't go to your house dead, let alone sober." I say, and his face scrunches, as if he's in pain. "But it's still your home, Malfoy. What's so wrong with it?"

"It's not a home, Lupin. Hasn't been in a long time. Hell, maybe ever."

I look at him, waiting for more. He glances at me "Merlin, you never give up, do you?"

"Not often."

He sighs "Fine." He takes a deep breath, as if he plans on saying it all at once and then says "Well, you see Lupin, when you're as fucked up as I am, you find refuge any place you can."