Scarlett isn't sure her life could fall any further apart. On the morning her husband, Captain James Tamworth admits to cheating on her, she's diagnosed with cancer.
In the midst of caring for their two small children, battling through her health t...
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SCARLETT
The night I have been dreading is here. November the fifth—Bonfire night. The fireworks are popping off every five seconds and James is tucked away under the quilt in our bedroom.
We have the television and radio blaring in there to drown out the booms, but he hasn't emerged for two hours now and is snappy when you try talking to him, so I'm letting him be on his own.
Elsie sits with me outside, pointing to the colour splashes in the sky. "So pretty."
I cuddle her. "I just wish they weren't so loud."
"Wes, it scares my daddy," she says, moving her finger around to follow each firework.
I pull the wooly hat further down her head when the cool wind brushes over us. "It does, baby, you're right."
She turns to look at me. "Why is daddy scared?"
I know James doesn't understand his PTSD himself, so explaining it to us probably feels like a minefield. Being open and honest is important, but it's going to be hard.
"The loud noises and flashes don't make him feel so good," I reply, taking her back inside when the booms get even louder.
The local hotel are putting on a big display in aid of a children's fostering charity and with it being so close to us, it shows within the noise.
In her pyjamas and fluffy coat, she rushes to the stairs to start climbing on her hands and knees. "I want to check on daddy."
I follow after her. "I don't think now is a good time."
Stopping halfway, she looks at me curiously. "Why?"
"Daddy is trying to sleep," I say and she rushes up the stairs anyway, ignoring me. "Elsie, no!"
Our bedroom door pops open when she pushes it and almost falls inside the room. James is under the covers, but his head pops out at the sounds of us.
The volume of the radio and television makes it surprising he heard us at all. I try grab Elsie but she pushes me off, jumping to climb up on the bed, crawling fast towards James when he pulls the duvet off.
"Elsie, you shouldn't ignore me," I say weakly when her tiny arms grab him into a hug.
James's eyes close and he grabs her harder into the hug. "Oh, baby, daddy loves you."
Elsie tries to climb him higher. "I lobe you very much!"
I'm on edge, flashbacks from the night he tried to attack me flashing into my mind. "Elsie—?"
James looks over. "I'm okay. She's okay."
I hesitate and I see the hurt flash in his gaze. "I don't think it's a good idea... just in case."
The defeat in his movements are apparent when he tries to get her to release him. She isn't letting go, so he throws me a helpless look and I have to manually remove her. Her tears start, but to be honest, all I can think about is getting her away.
"Scarlett, come on, she can stay with me," he says, but I'm already taking her back downstairs.
Our bedroom door slams hard and it causes me to wince, but I'm making the right decision. The smart one. Elsie carries on crying and I scare myself into thinking we're messing her head up too with our shit.
We settle down on the couch and at this point I think she's too tired to fight so she snuggles into me and sucks on her thumb. Why am I suddenly so anxious? The loud boom that rocks the house makes me jump and I hold Elsie closer.
A couple of pieces of paper sitting on the arm of the couch catch my eye. It's a piece of paper titled: Things I can do to support my family.
- Scarlett - Ask questions. -Try to be supportive -Don't burden her so much - Show my love for her more often.
- Elsie -Help her out more -Read to her at bedtime - Play when she asks - Have more patience
- Lucas - Bond with him - Take him out in the stroller for a run - Encourage him as much as I can - Stop being so on edge when he cries
I read over his words again, then I feel terrible guilt because he hasn't given me permission to read them. He's trying. And I just treated him as if he's a ticking time bomb.
Elsie in my arms, I go back up the stairs, pushing open the bedroom door to find him sitting with his knees bent and his chin resting on them.
"I'm sorry," I shout over the noise and he opens his arms for me.
I hand over Elsie first and he removes her coat and throws it on the floor, nestling her between us as he pulls me closer to him. The booms and fizzes become louder when he switches off the background noise to grab my hand and close his eyes tight. ...
JAMES
The air is thick with gas. The floor so cold it almost feels wet, or maybe it is wet. We all crawl towards the same spot with our hands on the others' back to find the gas masks. It's tear gas and my entire face burns. It's so painful I can't open my eyes and my lips feel like they're on fire.
Fuck.
I wasn't prepared for this when I first signed up to the military. The training pushes me past every limit I ever had. I'm so fucking weak. In the mind and in the body.
While I'm attempting to get to my feet, someone stumbles into me and we both tumble to the ground. The longer I'm exposed, the harder it is to breathe. Everyone is shouting and it's really disorienting.
I cough so hard it turns into a wretch, spit and snot all over my face. This is absolute madness. If I can't manage this, then how am I supposed to carry on further into the training? I'm clearly not cut out for it.
"Come on, men, come on! Too slow." A booming voice ricochets around the tiny building.
If I don't get a mask on soon, I'm passing out on that dirty floor. It's never usually smoky, but this time the chamber is full of it, loud bangs sounding out from outside.
I look around and two men are on the floor, blood and bullet wounds the size of golf balls all over their abdomen. My legs become paralysed as they carry on choking on the gas, thick red blood seeping out of their mouths.
"Two men down," I scream, attempting to move towards them, picking up and dragging my own legs to get them to move.
The tear gas becomes rain and I look to the ceiling to see trees. Loud helicopter sounds surrounding me as my parachute covers my crippled body.
I thought it was safe to jump. No threat detected until I'm halfway down the sky and the bastards open fired on me, shooting holes through my parachute.
The sudden out of control swirling took me off guard, the bullets ripping into my flesh as I literally fell to my death. I'm not sure if they assumed I was dead, but their crunchy footsteps echoed away until the pouring rain soaked over me.
Pain.
So much incredible pain.
Then— "James! James, for God's sake, WAKE UP!"
I jolt awake and through my spotty vision see Elsie running out of the bedroom crying.
