Scarlett isn't sure her life could fall any further apart. On the morning her husband, Captain James Tamworth admits to cheating on her, she's diagnosed with cancer.
In the midst of caring for their two small children, battling through her health t...
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Those two weeks are the worst of my entire life, but I'm trying to keep a steady head. Life is hectic, as per usual, so I find lots of things to keep me occupied. I'm still doing a few hours at the accountancy firm, but it will all stop after my operation.
My boss, Jules is amazing and has promised me full pay while I'm off, and my job back, no questions asked, whenever I need it. The security of knowing that helps and eases at least one of my many worries.
The mortgage isn't going to pay for itself and even with James's payout from the army, I don't like relying on him. Especially now. I need to know I can do this alone.
I haven't spoken to him properly in over a week and he's getting desperate. While he stays at his parents house, I drop the kids off before work and pick them up in the evenings.
It's been impossible to process his cheating with the way things happened afterwards. It's the least of my worries right now and while I may be using my diagnosis as a way to avoid it completely, the pain sometimes creeps up on me.
It's the nighttime that gets me. When I'm alone with my thoughts. I imagine the weirdest and worst things, not being able to fall to sleep because of it.
I can't stop wondering why he did what he did. If it felt good. If he wants to do it again. There's very little to trust about him right now, but when he says it was a one time thing, I believe him.
We have been together over ten years, and judging by his reaction on the morning he told me, I'm positive his guilt would of got to him by now. It doesn't mean it's okay, though, and I'll let him off the hook.
"I don't wanna leave daddy," Elsie says, her arms and legs wrapped around him.
James strokes her back. "It's okay, baby. I'll see you tomorrow morning, won't I?"
The moment her cries start, they cut right through my heart and judging by James's expression, he feels it too.
"No, daddy! Why don't you live at home anymore? I mwiss you," she sobs, holding on tighter to him.
I reach out to touch her back and she pushes me away. "Elsie, honey."
"No!" she cries, totally unsettled.
I noticed her spark missing a few days ago when I woke her up for play school. I didn't get the usual smile and kiss as she jumps out of bed to choose what toy to take with her that day and her mood has spiralled since.
"Why don't you spend the night with daddy?" I suggest, trying my hardest not to get upset at her joy.
She pulls back with wet lashes. "Yes, pleassse!"
James puts her down when she wriggles, tugging at his grey fleece. "Are you sure that's okay?"
I nod, itching to get back home as Lucas will be awake for his feed soon. "Yeah, just make sure she's in bed for a reasonable hour considering she's spending the whole day at nursery tomorrow."
