Lightning Only Strikes Once - Clexa

Chapter 114: The Strongest Stitches

Lexa stands as she straight as she can. Every part of her hurts. She cannot feel her feet or hands, and it is not from the cold. Nightbloods heal faster, but no one can heal quickly from being run through: she's not even sure anyone can survive it. It is a miracle of the spirit that she is breathing, let alone standing, but she will stand straight as long as this miracle lasts. "Has Nia's body been recovered?"

"Sha," the scout in front of her whispers. Then he clears his throat and repeats it, nearly at the same level. "Sha, Heda." He cowers from her whenever she moves, as if terrified by her very breathing, but strangely at the same time seems to try and press as close to her as he can, bowed down as he is before her. Like someone reaching out their frozen hands to warm them on the fire but afraid of being burnt by the fierceness of it.

"Good," Lexa says. Her side screams with agony as she raises her left hand to dismiss him, but she doesn't allow herself to flinch, even when she feels her wound start to reopen. She can't raise her hand above her waist, has not been able to since Assan stabbed her, but it's important that she looks like she can. She is surrounded by gona who only a few weeks ago were her sworn enemies. She cannot allow herself to show any weakness. At the moment, they fear her more than they ever have – her apparent resurrection has caused them to believe her all-powerful. But they will soon realise that the woman they considered divine, Nia, turned out to be nothing more than mortal, and that Lexa might be the same.

Any one of them could decide to try and take control while the situation is still fluid. There only needs to be one fool who does not approve of her decision to name the absent Roan ruler, and their position of safety will become a battlefield.

She glances sideways at Linkon, standing next to her impassively. Well, perhaps it would take more than one fool. But she still does not remotely believe that every gona in this army marched north with Wells because they wanted to improve the lives of their nation. Some will have done this to grab a position of power, or to find weaponry in Nia's stronghold, or even just to steal food. Lexa is willing to bet at least a hundred deserted on the way north with as much food as they could carry, returning to their families and bargaining that no one would remember them in the upheaval, not caring if the gona remaining in Polis were killed when the mission failed.

She is also willing to bet that if they did, Wells never pursued any of them, and perhaps never even realised they were gone. Skaikru are used to consistent food – not a lot of food, but a consistent amount of it. They were fed on the Ark, and have still been regularly fed since they fell to earth. It would not occur to Wells that the food they were carrying would be a worthy reason to risk the revenge of whichever group won the war.

They should return the same way, then, and see if they can discover any who took food and ran. The food must be distributed to those who need it. "Linkon," she says out loud, voice rough.

"Sha?"

"Find the leader of the gona and tell him. We must find deserters on the way back. They should not receive the usual punishment, I think, because they did not harm Wells or our cause. But we cannot allow them to think stealing and desertion has no cost."

Linkon nods. This is probably the tenth thing she has asked him to do for her, and she feels a pang of guilt because he is also injured. Lexa herself can barely stand between the pain and blood loss, but she needs to handle all of this. She needs to do everything she can to ensure that the gonakru do not turn against them while Abby and the others try to revive Clarke. Lexa needs to keep them distracted and busy.

Lexa needs to keep herself distracted and busy. On the way down the mountain she had barely felt her wound even as it bled and bled, too distracted by Clarke's pale and motionless form. If Clarke has died while she lives, none of this has been worth it. She cannot exist in a world without Clarke. She will not. If Clarke is dead, she will tell Linkon to return the Flame to Aden.