After a rough fight, Y/n goes to sit by the fire. She's the only one home right now, with the others all doing their own thing. At least, she thought she was alone. Hisoka is there, in his bathroom, stripping his bloodstained clothes off.
Y/n sits down, staring at the blaze. She needs to change, with her clothes covered in a mixture of dirt and blood, half is her own and half is the opposers. She doesn't care for fighting, If she's honest. And today was especially hard. It was a father and his daughter, He promised her he'd win for her, seeing as they were poor. The girl clutched her rabbit plushie as she watched her dad anxiously.
simply staring at the man with such determination, she stepped into the ring. Y/n fights at a club, where people bet on who they think will win, and whoever is the victor wins all the cash. But today it was a man in his late 30's early 40's, with a small child. They loved each other very much, you could tell that. It warmed her heart. But the way they had to drag his lifeless body away and the girls cries of dismay shook her.
An involuntary sob escaped from her lips, causing more to come. She falls to her knees, kneeling bent over in front of the fire. She knows what it's like to be fatherless. Sure, her situation was different. But the little girl just watched her father die right in front of her.
She's not sure how she'll be able to live with herself. Sure, the participation was completely voluntary. He knows the rules, he could've backed down. But he didn't. And now, he's dead.
"What's this?" Hisoka'a voice coos from behind her, a playful smirk on his face. He doesn't realize she's crying until a sob makes her body tremble. He immediately drops the flirtatious smile, walking over to her, a hand on his hip.
"Come now, stand up." He says, offering her a hand.
"No." She chokes out, covering her face with her hands.
"Why not?"
"I can't. I don't deserve to stand, I-I don't deserve to be living." He blinks at her, before kneeling to her level.
"Tell me what happened-" "I killed him!" Y/n cuts him off, followed by more sobs.
"Killed who?" He asks.
"The father. I killed him, and now he's dead. Forever. I ended his life." She says, holding her elbows. She rocks back and forth on her knees, trying to calm herself.
"Yes, the first time is always the hardest. Don't worry. It gets easier." He says.
"I don't want it to get easier! I don't want to kill! He was a person, a good person with a family and a kid and I ended all of that! He was innocent!" She sobs.
Hisoka scoots closer to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his chest. She buries her face in her hands shamefully, as she hyperventilates.
"I don't know how to live with myself. I have to die, to- to make up for what I did." She chokes out.
"Oh come now. Don't be dramatic. He knew what might happen. He could've forfeited the match, couldn't he?" She nods.
"Right. He volunteered, and he lost. You did nothing wrong." He assures her, gently rubbing her back.
"Don't tell the others. Please." She says.
"I promise." He says, sitting down on his legs. He pulls her into his lap, resting his chin on her head.
Hisoka feels the slightest bit of envy towards her. She feels so heavily the weight of her actions. The sensitivity to death; Something that died a long time ago, along with his victims. Killing is second nature to him, now. Innocent or not, it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. Never once has he even thought about their families, or friends that might be affected. But that's just him. He's always had a knack for not caring, for pushing away those emotions to complete his mission, he didn't even think about how it might affect someone who's not used to killing.
A few minutes later, she's calmed down, her breathing reduced to nothing but a few sniffles. Hisoka feels her shallow breathing, and let's her rest until she falls asleep. He then picks her up, careful not to wake her, and carries her to her bed, where he closes the door and heads out.
He knocks on the door of a small house. A few moments later, a frail woman answers the door, her pail skin and eye bags telling him all he needs to know. She's sick.
"Hello. Your husband, he died in a fight today, correct?" He says, making the woman flinch at the words.
"yes... who are you?" She says fearfully.
"Here. It's not much, but it'll help. I'm very sorry for your loss." The words sound foreign coming from him, but it's a good feeling. She slowly takes the envelope he has extended out to her, opening it. Her eyes widen, as she skims through the bands.
"Th-this is 1 million Jenny!"
Hisoka smiles.
"Spend it wisely." He says, and when the lady looks up, he's gone.
Y/n wakes up when Hisoka walks into her room.
"Don't worry about the family, the wife and child received an anonymous gift of 1 million Jenny."
She sits up.
"What?! You-" she trails off, not understanding.
"I think of it as a way to pay respects to all the innocent lives I've taken. It won't happen again." He says, looking out the window into the distance.
"That's... very noble of you." Y/n smiles. He smiles.
"Feeling better?" He asks, sitting next to her.
"Yeah." She smiles sadly.
"Good." He says.
