Our Dark Love

𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖲𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖭

BRIANNA

Darius Jackson Junior, a man of great integrity and pride. But it didn't make him boastful or snarky, he actually used it for good.

I may have only been six years old but I could see that he was no ordinary man. He wasn't the average Afrucan American that does the bare minimum to help out, he did more.

Father was born into money, in the Congo. Part of some royal family that started a hundred years ago. He was always fed with a gold spoon and never had to worry about when he'll sat or where he'll sleep. But that didn't let him turn a blind eye from the people that have this worry.

I may have only been six years old but I listened intently on tbe stories he would tell me about how he used to give away his lunch money because he knew that when he got home, he could just open a fridge and there'd be food. I would listen to the small things he'd tell me about gratitude and selflessness.

He put others before him, a trait I wish to have inherited. He was branded in selflessness until he couldn't be anymore.

Father was never the selfish type, he was never one to hold grudges.

"Holding a grudge is like watching paint dry on a rainy day, it does you no good and it is boring."

I like rainy days but I hate watching paint dry. I didn't know alot about my father but what I knew for sure was that he always put me first.

He always opened doors for me, he made sure I ate my meals and drank water, he made sure I had eight hours of sleep and would fight mother if I didn't. I appreciated it but it costed me a father and I can't seem appreciate it anymore.

I cannot seem to wrap my head around what man he is. He was always there for and cared for me until he had to go. I thought he would atleast call to check up on me but he didn't. He turned selfish and self centered. He turned into someone I refuse to be. He turned into someone I fear to become.

When he left, he didn't only leave with a part of me but he left with all the emotions I had for him. The love, sorrow, hurt, happiness I felt for him had vanished when I realized he wasn't coming back.

I felt nothing for him. No matter how hard I cried, how much I took, how many times I talked about it, it never worked.

And that alone scared me.

He was the perfect father. He told me to reach for the stars and not let anyone bring me down. He told me to be as determined as Tiana, as fearless as Mulan and as free spirited as Pocahontas. All these princess had one thing in common, a dad. I didn't have that.

Everyone said how alike we are and that I'm Daddy's girl. We both laughed at it but it made my heart sore to think that I was compatible to someone as amazing as him. But thats not me anymore, that was old Brianna. Naive, simple minded Brianna. Now I see who he is for what he is. He is nothing but a selfish jerk who left me.

He isn't only a jerk, he is also a sweet jerk. He used to buy me ice cream on a rainy day and we would sit by the fire and talk. He used to whisper jokes and I failed to keep my laughter down but he never scolded, he joined in. He was my best friend, my only supporter and my number one fan.

I sometimes miss him but it only last for a few minutes before I remember how much I hate him. He left us after all and didn't even bother to give an explanation.

Now, eight years later, he wants call. He wants to reach out, just so he can show us that he's moved on. He's found someone he really loves and he needs to show her off.

Father is going to be married off soon.

I knew he had moved on but I didn't expect to know about it. I chose to stay clueless and ignorant to the fact that he had moved on. I don't know if I didn't like the idea or I didn't want to know but I chose to stay ignorant and know it's back to bite my ass.

I hope I don't sound vile or crude but I don't want to go. I don't want to see him happy when he's caused me so much suffering. He's also caused my mother much suffering.

I feel for mother because I know that she is still in love with father.

Her shaken voice when she broke the news down to me, her sniffles and hearted sobs. She still loves him and he is about to be married off.

I may have only been six years old but I know that the man I grew up with was not there anymore. He changed in the span of eight years and as much as I'm a curious little bitch, I don't want to know.

I don't want to see him happy at all. I don't want to see him. Mother can go to this wedding and divorce him but I'm staying here. I have no business meeting him or the lady he has decided to marry.

Darius Jackson Junior can go to hell!

I'll meet him down there.