Chapter Seventeen

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Days that have passed since I decided to leave: 6
Amount of tests I've had to take this week: 19
Amount I've passed: 18
Amount of worried looks Elijah has given me: 323
How many times I have caught Elijah and Grace whispering to each other: 47
Hours until I plan to run away: 5

"Again!" Elijah roars.

I hit out but I miss. He hits back and strikes me across the face. It hurts but not much, it's been a long time since Elijah used his full force to hit me. I passed all my other tests with flying colours, I am officially one of their best students. Turns out dad trained me to a higher calibre then anyone could have imagined, all without me knowing about it. The only class I'm to pass is combat, but I can't. I can't bring myself to beat Elijah.

I'm planning to leave tonight. I've got everything I need. Acting normal whilst I squirrel things away and prepare for a mission I'm not even going on, has been the hardest part of all. Until today. Knowing this may be the last time I ever see Elijah has me feeling things I didn't even know were possible. It almost makes me give up my plan; but then I remember; it's one of the only things that will keep him safe.

"You're distracted." He says, "You need to pass this exam."

"I'd be fine if I wasn't fighting you," I huff.

"Pretend I'm Yellow Backpack."

"I can't." I say softly, "You're Elijah."

The tenderness in my voice makes his head whip around so he can look me in the eyes. It's just he and I in the sports centre, training in the ring. It's almost evening, the sun is low and the room is illuminated in orange. It makes it look magical. My exam is tomorrow, I won't even be here for it, but I didn't want to give up alone time with him.

"What's going on with you?" Elijah asks softly, taking a step towards me.

"Nothing," I say, keeping my voice even.

Elijah steps towards me, he's giving me that
look - that intense, I see you better then anyone, look. "Why won't you tell me?"

I shrug and break eye contact. "I'm just nervous for the exam."

Elijah chuckles, "You're a terrible liar."

"No, I'm not." I say. If I was, he would know my plan. "I'd be fine if I was fighting anyone but you."

"Amelia," I love the way he says my name. I hate I'll never hear it again. "You can beat me. You have beaten me. You just don't want to."

"Maybe I don't," I say.

Elijah's eyes scan my face, but he doesn't push whatever he's thinking. "Another round? We can keep practicing?"

I shake my head no, and turn my back to him. I walk to the edge of the ring, pick my water bottle up and gulp the contents down. I'm worried I'm going to blurt out everything to him. I'm worried if he looks at me the way he sometimes does, I won't go. I'm worried my stupid teenage brain is going to ruin my whole plan.

"I should head back, get some rest," I say, my back still to him.

There's a long silence before he says, "If you want."

I turn to face him, and his trained eyes are watching me. He knows. He knows somethings not right. He knows I'm not right. I know that I shouldn't do what I'm about to, it's going to give me away. But what if this really is the last time I see him.

"Elijah... I want to - I just. I need to-" I take a deep, steadying breath. "Thank you. Everything you've done for me, I haven't told you enough but I think, in parts, you saved my life."

Shock crosses his face, and then in two strides he is stood in front of me, looking at me in a way that makes my stomach swoop. He strokes the top of my head, letting his fingers trail down the side of my face, then he rests his hand on my shoulder.

"What's going on?" He whispers.

"Nothing," I look up at him. His green eyes, his strong jaw, I memorise his perfect face. "I just wanted you to know."

The air is thick with emotion. I want to cry. I want to bury myself into his arms, cuddle him to me. I want to tell him all the things I've been too scared to say. But I can't. I won't. I just stand there, looking into his eyes and I hope our bond can let him know just how much he truly means to me, because I don't think I will ever vocalise it.

"Amelia," Elijah whispers, a spark in his eyes. I'm going to kiss you."

For the first time in weeks, my mind goes silent. It calms. I'm not a spy in training. I'm not an orphan. I'm not Amelia. I'm just a girl who likes a boy and that boy wants to kiss me.

His hands are warm and soft as they finger my hair, he places one on the back of my neck and tilts his head. I close my eyes. Then his lips are on me, it's warm and inviting, exploratory and gentle. It's not like any other kiss I've ever had before. I know that I can kill a man with my little finger, but nothing has made my knees want to buckle more then this.

He still has hold of my hair with one hand, pulling on it gently and he deepens the kiss, pushing all of his body into me. My arms slide around his back, holding him tightly, and I lay all my emotion into the kiss.

Then finally, we draw apart. Elijah's eyes still closed.

"Wow," He mutters, then he finally opens them. I laugh, because he's not the cool, calm boy he usually is.

I've kissed him. After so long we've finally done it. It was everything I thought it would be. A sort of huge tremor runs through me; after all, I'm still a girl. We look at each other for a bit longer but I'm aware the clock is ticking. There are still things I need to do before I leave tonight.

"I should, um, I should head back," I say, picking my bag up and stepping towards the exit.

"Amelia," He mutters, reaching his hand to his lips. "What does this mean?"

I shrug, "I don't know, Elijah. I've- I've got to go."

Then I spin around and run out of there, my feet pounding on the wet grass as I make my way back to my dorm. I don't cry, though I really want to. I just keep moving. Keep running. Away from the only person who can stop my plans dead in their tracks.

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