a Stardew Valley fan fiction: The Proper Care and Feeding of Souls

Power

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey friends, trigger warning here. Grace tells Sam about her sexual assault in this chapter (spoiler alert). Feel free to skip if you don't want to read about it, but you can definitely still read the first section, which is about Penny, and stop when it shifts to Grace's perspective. Love you all. xo - lei

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."

- Jim Morrison

Penny sat across the counter from her mother, who was, for once, sober and attentive. Her hands shook, her palms sweaty as she built up the nerve to talk to the woman who had simultaneously made her who she was and kept her from all that she wasn't. Penny so desperately wanted to fling accusations and wrangle understanding and sympathy from Pam. She knew, however, it would be futile. She planned to be brief.

Penny cleared her throat. Her voice was small at first, wavering slightly as she began. "Mother." She glanced up at Pam, but could not read her expression. "You know that I am an adult now," Pam scoffed and rolled her eyes. Penny ignored her and continued, gaining confidence with each word. "I've decided it is time for me to move out of the trailer."

This was not the conversation Pam was expecting. A wash of unease came over her body as she took in her daughter's declaration. A bitter, cruel laugh erupted from her. She squinted her eyes at her pale, fragile-looking daughter.

"You?" She mocked. "With what money? With what job?" Pam pushed her fear deep down crowding it with cold-heartedness. "You wouldn't last a week without me." Pam stood, staring down at her daughter. "You are weak, Penny. You are nothing without me." Penny cast her gaze past Pam, staring at the wall beyond her, the wall where her mother had thrown the vase of poppies. "Is this about that freak?" Pam's blood boiled at the thought of her daughter shacking up with some low-life. Her blood boiled at the thought of her daughter making the same mistakes she had. "It is. Isn't it?" Pam's words were dripping with disgust.

Penny bit her lip from the inside, so hard she could taste the blood as her teeth pierced her skin. She inhaled sharply, caught herself, and slowed exhaled. Where the strength came from, she did not know. She looked Pam straight in the eye, something she rarely if ever had the courage to do.

"I hope you get the help you need, mother," she said flatly. Standing, she walked out of the trailer, the cool, fresh air of fall rushing against her flushed face.

GRACE

There is something spectacular about reliving experiences in life with a newfound sense of appreciation for them, and that is exactly what it was like with Sam. We started making out on the couch at the farmhouse like we were in high school or something. It felt innocent and yet incredibly sexy. We laid together on the wide leather sofa, his body pressed against mine, we kissed and teased, the tension teetering on unbearable at times. Slow was exactly what we both needed.

It became a bit of a routine, quite possibly my favorite routine of all time, that Sam would stop by after work or dinner. He'd browse through my vinyl collection and we'd lounge on the couch listening to an album, pushing the boundaries of our relationship just a touch further each time. He took his time. He was slow, gentle, sensual, generous. Everything I knew him to be as a person, he was as a lover.

As we edged closer to the inevitable, I knew, though, that I had to tell him about my past. I had to tell him about what happened before I left the city. My life was barely recognizable now in comparison to then. It was unbearable to think that this thing still had a grip on me....that it still had the power to rip my newly built life from me with just one conversation.