ALWAYS YOURS 🐥🐰✔️

010

Jimin's POV

I laid on my back on the bed as I stared at the bedroom ceiling. It's been two weeks after my divorce with kook. My heart feels crushed just thinking about it. A lonely tear rolled down my face but I quickly wiped it off.

I heard a knock on my door making me get up to answer.

"Hey Chim, I brought you dinner" Namjoon hyung said holding a tray of my favorite food. I took it thanking him and ushered him into my room.

I smiled fondly at him as I got on the bed to eat, not wanting to be scolded about skipping my meals. One night he gave me a long lecture about skipping meals and how thin and pale I've become.

"Wow hyung this is good...but"

"Yeah yeah yeah I didn't make it ok. Jin hyung dropped it over when you were in the shower"

I laughed at him knowing very well he can't cook.

Well the thing is, I've been staying at Namjoon hyung's place after I moved out from mine and jungkook's. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. That place held a lot of wonderful memories which am gonna cherish forever even though I have to try and forget them all, it's not gonna be easy.

After dinner, we watched a few shows and played some games before calling it a night. I laid on my side on the bed staring into nothing. Sleep has been hard to come to me for the past few days.

I also hate myself for making everyone worried about me. But I don't know what I could've done without them. I know I tell them that am okay and I know that they are not convinced.

I've been trying to cope with everything, not wanting to draw army's attention to what is going on. I try to smile and talk more during interviews and give my best at performances but the truth is, I don't know how long I can do it. Not when He is always around and I see Him everyday but not able to be like we were before is killing me slowly on the inside. We've not spoken to each other after our divorce and it's breaking me apart. I want to be able to hold him, hug him, kiss him, play with him, do everything together but I just can't.

I still love him. I know it may be stupid after all that's happened but I just can't help it ok. I love him and it hurts me. It hurts me that he never loved me back but I do, I still do.

I sobbed quietly into my pillow knowing namjoon hyung is sleeping in the next room.

Why gguk, why did you never love me even during our three years of marriage kookie. My tears fell harder as I held on tightly onto the necklace around my neck knowing I could no longer wear our ring on my finger. I felt my eyes getting heavy before I allowed myself to fall into my dreamland where I could be with my kook.