Sunflower Reviews

Raaina - God Trials: Demeter

Reviewer: 08_Umm_Waraqah

Review: God Trials: Demeter

Client: infuation

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Ø TITLE/COVER (3/5)

Your cover is beautiful, really. The gold and... cream? Theme works well for it. Though, I think you'd do better to use darker colours—I mean, it's fantasy. The problem I have is with the fonts. If I didn't know beforehand that your title was God Trials (Because it's written underneath your cover), I wouldn't have been able to make out the G and Trials in your title font—even then, I spent close to a minute trying to make sense of the letters. I'm not the best judge of covers, but I know for sure that font works against your book. No one wants to spend minutes trying to make out the title of your book, no matter how beautiful the cover itself is. The one word subtitle is also barely noticeable. I suggest you find clearer fonts for your title and a stronger one for the subtitle.

Your title is great. It's relevant to the story and to your genre. I'm not sure of its enthralling effect, though, and I guess this has to do with the somewhat light cover. If your cover were a tad darker, I think this title would work pretty well with it.

P.S I'm not an avid fantasy reader so you may want to seek the opinions of experienced (if this is the right word) fantasy readers on your cover.

Ø BLURB (2/5)

Your blurb is short. It begins with a gripping first line. It evokes interest (if not curiosity). There's information, only it's too little. There's a mention of a character who I suspect is the MC, only it's just a mention. Nothing is said about this character that makes readers want to learn more about him. No stakes. No motives. No personality traits or quirks. On second thoughts, your book deals with Greek mythology, right? So readers of that subgenre may know who Solstice is. For others like us, we have no idea. So you may want to add a few things about him to pique our interests.

There are a few grammatical errors in your blurb. This is a fixed version of your blurb below:

Who wants to become a god?

Everyone, that's who. So when the infamous heroes of Olympus start holding trials in hopes of finding a new champion, it's no surprise Solstice is first in line. (Here will be the appropriate place to add a few things about Solstice. One or two character traits that points to his motives. Or something about his current situation that tells us why he wants to be a god, or what he has to lose if he doesn't become one. You'll also notice that I changed the structure of this sentence. In the original, you missed a word—that—and it took away from the meaning of the sentence. So I added the missing word and reconstructed the whole thing).

Betrayals, secrets, dramas, and lies are abound between the contestants. But it all boils down to one question. (Another reconstructed part, because in your original, the sentence makes no sense and it felt like you jumped a crucial part and landed here.)

Does Solstice/any one of them have what it takes to be a god? (The underlined words are used instead of 'you' because I don't think you should address the readers directly in the blurb. Unless that'll be done in the book as well. You can choose between Solstice or 'any one of them' depending on who your book focuses on: the contestants or Solstice alone).

That's the best I can do to fix your blurb. It's not the best; there are some things that aren't in my power to add, like the personality thingy, for example. However, you're welcome to take my suggestions or leave them. They're only suggestions, after all.