Sunflower Reviews

Mila - Silver and Evergreen

Reviewer: Mila (Mila_333)

Review: Silver and Evergreen

Client: Bunzy161

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Cover

We say to never judge a book by its cover. But how many of us really go by this saying? Well, at least not me! I swear I get attracted first by the title of the book and then its cover. Even before I read the blurb or any other parts of the book, I will be influenced by the cover of the book. During the course of the review, I saw that you changed your cover from a blackish to a bluish background and I think you did the exact right thing. To be honest, when I first saw the cover, it appeared quite dull and it wouldn't push me to start reading compared to other books I have on my list. But since you changed it, I will provide you my thoughts about the new one.

Well, the current cover is obviously better and more refreshing but I would have liked to see something better, perhaps with a shadow of the protagonist aka Cam. I said a shadow because as mentioned in the book, Cam is an azure and she's beyond beautiful. I suggest you keep her face mysterious and not cast her to leave the readers to their own imagination. Over a course of time, I've learnt that readers enjoy it this way. You can also include a picture of a mysterious girl with only part of her face showing (perhaps her eye(s)) and the rest of her face covered.

There are many cover shops available on Wattpad itself and you can choose whoever you want after seeing their works in their shops. Or better, you can make the cover yourself by researching with some hard work. I'm sure you'll rock it!

Title

I haven't really understood how the title goes along with the story. The term Silver is somewhat explained and the character has been shown in the book. Evergreen, on the other hand, I suspect is Cam but I think the title interpretation can come to a point where the story is near its climax.

Blurb

The blurb is quite okay but I think you should include more interesting elements as this is what readers search for before they start reading a book and I can rate your blurb as a four out of ten only because the catching elements are missing, most importantly the part which states that the female protagonist has magic. I think this will make readers more intrigued to get on their read. Moreover, people who like reading this genre where magic is included will never know what this book really contains. So it's high time you edit that blurb.

On a side note, if ever you wanted to keep the magic part a secret (as in a mystery to your readers), it's quite useless as the specified fact is already revealed in the first chapter itself. So waste no time in adding that to the blurb!

Secondly, the king! You should definitely add more details about your male protagonist. The way you pointed about the king in the blurb was not eye catching at all! When I first read it, I wasn't even able to picture anything but just a lonely king. Try to describe him a bit, stress on the words 'a bit', do not give away too much description right away. In addition, it is of utmost importance to at least give a proper view of the male protagonist in the blurb since he carries out important roles and has quite the coverage with the female protagonist.

Plot and writing style (I)

First of all, I seriously love the plot! Like really really love it! Your ideas are so unique and interesting. The concepts you've included such as Azures, the relationship between fae and human, the Silver Stone world, slavery, Adelaide, the northern wall, Lucky Star, Rosemary Inn and others are so well described that I felt like I was actually living in that world and that's one big target you make when you're writing a book. I honestly think you've mastered this part and no further change is needed according to your description for places. You've done it so well that I think I have myself personally travelled in the different squares of Adelaide. So, a massive thank you and well done on that part!

Also there were quite some interesting aspects along the story and elements which caught me by surprise such as when the bow hit Charles or when Drakon caught Cam before she met up with Seb. These were totally unexpected scenes and they're exactly the elements that keep readers thrilled in their read. I seriously kept wanting more and couldn't leave the book until I knew the next part!

The pacing was absolutely perfect! It was neither too slow nor too fast! I was going at the required rhythm. The events occurring were well defined and planned. Each sequence had its own uniqueness and I couldn't ask more anything more. If one thing is supposed to happen, without further ado, you make it happen and that's what makes it more realistic and entertaining.

Coming to writing style, as I mentioned above, the way you describe scenes and places is already fabulous and you don't really need work on that. However, some touch ups are needed at places where the female protagonist is talking to herself such as when she was feeling things. Sometimes I would feel the connection with her dwindling but then she does certain stupid things that I get connected to her once again, though it might be through frustration. My point here is to review certain sentences of Cam reflecting to certain aspects of her life and add some more power and strength to her thoughts so that your readers don't get disconnected or bored. I did not get bored at all but certain people might!

Grammatical flow and writing style (ii)

For this part, I will mainly talk only about the first two chapters where I think a major edit is needed. Compared to the other chapters in your book, I'd say these first two chapters were relatively plain and very straight forward. I get that you had to relate everything to the readers about quite a lot of important information. Perhaps, you didn't want to dwell too much on her upbringing and just highlight on the crucial aspects. The turn off here is the difference in the writing style in the first two chapters and then the rest of the book. Like, I know you're damn good, that's why I'm compelled to make this comment. You have to enhance your writing style for the first two chapters.

Now, about the grammatical mistakes, most of them were found during the first two chapters only. Yes, there were other mistakes in the other chapters but they were very minimal and not an issue at all. Actually, the read was so interesting from chapter three onwards that it was quite hard to even identify those mistakes. So, the following will be mostly based upon the first two chapters.

One most important mistake in your grammar will be the punctuation mark. In many required sentences, they were omitted and they sure left a bad impact. For instance, some sentences could have more properly structured, hence, affecting your work quality wise.

For example (some brief notes I took while reading):
Chapter one, paragraph two: Review and construct sentences properly. One specific place where you used far could have been replaced by afar.

There are also certain places where there can be a replacement of some simple words to better enhance your writing style such as 'is my guess' could have been replaced by 'in my estimation'. There's also the need to review tenses where the protagonist was relating something about her past.

Character Development

I think the male protagonist is just fine the way he has been portrayed. While for Cam, I have some mixed feelings just because she does things which are really stupid (such as roaming around when Drakon was in the city, getting angry at Seb, leaving her satchel at the bush like it could have gotten robbed so easily) although we cannot blame her, for she's been 'imprisoned' her whole life. I mean it's pretty obvious that she needs to learn a lot and that's what I wish to see happening in the future.

One major aspect I really appreciate about her character is that not only has she showed interest about knowing more about the ancient history but she's even gone to the extent to try to liberate her kinds aka the fae. She, at first, wanted liberty for herself and now she's up for the world. I believe it is something commendable about her character.

On the other hand, as I said in the comments, I'd like to see her use her brains more to complement with her gift, that is her magic, and I believe she'll be successful in whatever endeavor she undertakes.

Reader's Enjoyment

Basically, it was my job to read your book till now but I will be looking forward to your new updates since I'm literally addicted to it. It is so amazing and I'm glad I was given the opportunity to read it. I feel like you can go to places with this book if more refined. So best of luck! It's already added to my reading list under 'Good Books' and I'm pretty positive it'll change and will be shifted to my other reading list 'Best stories ever'. I just hope the ending goes up to my liking for that to happen.