Grave and His heaven

Part 11

Athena POV~

I finally get myself to stop shaking, I sigh deeply, what a loser. Though I have been getting better there are things that trigger me and the mean cold glare and his loud exclaim, might have done the job. Gosh I'm so pathetic and weak. I should have- I should have-

"We're here." Grave says dragging me out of my train of thought. I gather my things quickly and open the door. "Thank you for taking me home, you really didn't't have to." He shakes his head slowly "I wanted to." I nod, "Well t-thanks". As I was going to turn he suddenly stopped me by coughing.

I contemplate should I invite him in? I mean he did trigger me. But I don't think he meant too? But he did take me home...

I quickly turn around before I regret and die of embarrassment "Would you l-like to come i-in? I mean you're going to c-catch a cold... I-I- mean, you don't have to-but you did take me home- but of course you don't have to, but then again-" He puts his hand on top of my head a big smirk placed on his gorgeous face. "Sure."

I let go of the shaky breath I held in "o-ok"

We walk up the stairs after he locked his car "So Grave would you like anything to eat or drink? Anything at all?" I question him as I open the door to my small cozy apartment which seemed to be really small and tight compared to Graves giant physic. His eyes roam my body making me want to cover myself with my bare hands, his stare made me feel hot and sweaty, I honestly didn't know if I liked it or not.

His eyes stop at my lips as he sharply breaths out "Water will do just... fine." I nod and feel my cheeks become a rose red color, Dang that man makes my body react so much to him. His eyes met mine. A flash of emotion flashes, I wonder what that was? His gaze felt so good, yet so wrong. Why?

I lead him to the coach grabbing a bottle of water for him and me. "Here you go." I reach my hand out to hand him his water he does the same but instead of giving it he takes it. He nods and looks around "Cute place."

"Hehe you think so?" I rub my nose with my sleeve feeling a sneeze coming on. "Yeah" I compressed my sneeze and it seemed to leave the desire to sneeze. "I love it too, simple yet a bit girly." Most of my home was silver or white with wood decore but some pink was added too.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" I turn to face him. He was chugging his water bottle down while looking at me, I wouldn't help but to admire him. His Adam's Apple going up and down from every big golpe he took. So pretty.

"Sure." He tracked me back to reality once again. "What movie would you like to watch?" I cough embarrassed.

"You pick" I nod "Ok well we can watch Narrnia?" He nods his head yes I finally put on the movie and lay back into the confort of the amazing coach. Half through the movie we just talk not really paying all that much attention to the movie. I can't say I didn't enjoy his company.

I care for my friends but at times I felt as though they weren't listening to me. Like yes they would talk and Hear me out but I felt as though they really weren't listening to what I was trying to say. But him, but Grave he just sat there and really took my words in one by one. Ha never really had that, it felt weird.

Usually I would feel as though I was walking through thousand of people at time square distractions everywhere, not really able to hear the other person you are taking to, not special seeing as there was millions of people around us, the world never stopping even if I trip and fall, it just keeped on going. I desire and I care to be with somebody who makes me feel as though I was the only person alive, I wanted to feel as though if I got a paper cut they would be to my ade, when we talk I want them to really hear me to understand every meaning of every word. A person who knows when I say I'm fine, I truly mean I'm slowly dying inside. I want to be... loved. But I feel as though it's impossible and my standards are to high.

I would just hope I end up with someone who cares about me even just a little bit. But this man, his eyes glued to me like if He takes a quick look away I would be a dream.When he listens to me speak, I truly did feel as though he was understanding every word, my blush comes back to life.

Look back at the tv seeing the movie is half way done I rub my eyes tiredly hoping he doesn't take notice. I focus on the movie two thirds of the way finished I hear light snoring coming from the right of me. I turn my head to see the great Grave dead asleep on the coach I slightly laugh and shake my head playfully dummy why didn't he tell me he was sleepy, I grab a blanket from inside my spare closet in the hail way, Thank gosh I had this spare.

I return to him still unfazed dead asleep with his grumpy look, I softly laugh even when asleep he's still a grumpy pants. I put the warm blanket over him tucking him in good. I know that it isn't the best thing to do; invite a stranger 3 times your size and let him sleep over but he did help me out and take me home.

Now I think, would I like to sleep on the other coach or do I go to sleep in my bed? I think he would just get up and leave, though funnily, I wanted him to stay. There was this sort of protection I got when I was with him, it was so comforting.

I decided to go to my room. I turn off all the lights but keep the tv going just lowering the volume. I whispered a goodnight and head on my Mary way. I take a quick shower then putting on black biker shorts and a big white t-shirt. Then I put on long black socks, I was comfy to the max.

Though, this is comfy and all... I wish and hope, no one every sees me like this, my big fat legs... I Hated it. I wish I was skinny, not to the point where I was unhealthy but skinny to the point I was beautiful.

I head to bed and cuddle with my big wolf stuffed animal, the only thing from my childhood I got to keep and save. My most prized possession.

A wave of sleepiness consumes me, I slowly put surly close my eyes heading into nothing but darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
✨IMPORTANT ✨
Hey guys! If y'all don't know by now I'm A and I wanted to tell you that even though I said there will not be any warnings in the beginning I will only say this once.
There is body dysmorphia, traumatic childhoods, violence, blood, and even more things, please please don't read this book if any of these things triggers you, your mental health is important please take care of yourself! Bye!

Little bit about myself and the reason behind this book:
So the reason why I am not making this a normal romance is because I kinda wanted to make a character kinda like me in wise of their mentality. I do suffer from body dysmorphia and social anxiety and it really does suck. So SO much. I also had a traumatic childhood something I won't get into. But let's just say There is no words to explain the trama that I went through when I was young. When I write I know it won't be 100% the best bc I honestly don't know how to explain the trama and how it felt. But I will try my absolute best. If you are sufffering for anything at all just know there are people here for you and you can always dm me if you really do need help.

That's all

Bye rat-