21. Flames and Clarity

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The fire looked real

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The fire looked real. So did the logs. Watching the bright flames was soothing. The whole setup — the fireplace, the books — was something I wanted to do for Ava at Alfie's. Planning renovations was less concerning than buying and using an electric fireplace in fucking July.

I lost it, and not only once. The uncomfortable truth? There was no way I couldn't not hit him because he went after the girl I loved. Because he said nasty shit to her and  touched her against her will. And I had zero regrets, even though my impulsiveness would likely cost us a lot.

I'd never been aggressive. Although I got into fights a few times growing up, it was just a punch here and there and usually because some fucker crossed the line. But since I became a public figure, I'd been careful. I'd watched what I did, what I said. Fuck, even what I wore because having all eyes on you all the time made you aware of the way others saw you. And as much as some claimed not to give a shit, I didn't know a single person who truly didn't. 

I lay back on the fluffy rug and stared at the ceiling. Ava was taking a shower while I got the fireplace ready, and I needed to find a way to fix things. 

I hurt her when I shut her out last night, but she'd been tiptoeing around me all day, tender and caring and compassionate. And I told her I wanted a blowjob, which was true. But I was her first everything, and I loathed wording my blunt request in such an asshole way as if I was making a demand. What I hated even more was that Ava didn't put me in my place, just showed me how amazing she was yet again by being by my side, letting me vent, and then saying she wanted to wash the day off. I showered in another bathroom cause I didn't trust myself with her. I needed her too much and would press her up against the shower wall instead of talking like she wanted. 

She was taking too long. I scrambled to my feet and went to our bedroom. My steps halted when I reached the doorway — Ava was sitting on the bed in a silk nightdress I insisted on buying for her today because I caught her looking at it and thought it'd look better on her than on the hanger.

Damn if I wasn't right. It was white, short, and gave me the view of her sexy bare back. Easy to take off, too. All I'd need to do was push the thin straps down her arms.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. She was pouting as she tried to slide a hairbrush through her hair that looked wilder than I'd ever seen it. Adorable.

"Need help?"

Ava huffed. "Remind me not to skip conditioner and remind me to bring a decent brush from home because this freaking joke of a brush will pull all my hair out."

I perched on the bed by her side and took the culprit of Ava's annoyance from her hands. "Let me help you. I'll be gentle, okay?"

That sounded sexual. I swallowed, trying not to stare at Ava's skin glistening in the dim light. She used the oil we bought. Also today, because she liked its smell, and I wanted to please her in every way she'd let me.

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