epiphany || bucky barnes

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎

I'm free.

...

"Alright, Bucky... You got this. I'm right outside for you if anything happens." I whispered as we approached Yori's door.

Bucky's shoulders were tense, his gloved hands fiddling with each other in anxiety. This would probably be the hardest moment in his life. If he hadn't had enough already. He looked down a bit, before moving to the dark wooden door and knocking on it. 

Reluctantly, I left his side and walked down the hallway, my hands shoved in my pockets. Secrelty, I wished I could be there for him as he broke the news, but I knew it was best for him to do it on his own. I stepped down onto the sidewalk, the cloudy skies barely giving barely the remnant of daylight. I took leisure on the curb, sitting on the corner of the street and waiting.

My eye caught a couple, walking not too far away. They were chatting, both dressed in casual clothes- those that people living in the idyllic suburbs would wear. The woman pushing a black stroller, her brown and blonde highlighted hair blowing softly in the breeze. The man has his hands in his jean pockets, a light jacket over his shoulders. He moved around the stroller, kneeling down and handing the small child in there a toy.

After this, I realized I had been staring for much too long at the two. I snapped my gaze away from them and averted it to the cracked paved road. 

I couldn't help but be jealous. As much as my life has kept me on hold for the past decades, the dream of having a family never left my head. But, it was too late for me now. And god knows that Bucky wouldn't want to be a father.

I cleared my throat and got up, hearing footsteps behind me. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist, a warm body pressing against my back. A face buried itself in my neck. Slowly, I brought my hand to tangle in Bucky's hair, stroking the soft strands with tender touch. 

"How did it go?" I whispered, slightly turning in his arms and looking up at him. 

"It hurt." He whispered in response. "Really, really bad..."

I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, bringing him into my chest and a hand to his hair. I gently stroked the strands of brown hair, my opposite hand rubbing up and down his back in small circles.

"It's over now... You did what you were supposed to." I whispered in his ear, kissing behind it tenderly and closing my eyes. "I know it hurts... and it's going to for a while. But you're going to get through it. We will get through it, together."

Bucky stayed in my arms for a moment before pulling away, pulling out the worn leather notebook from his pocket. "The book... still isn't complete."

"What? I thought Yori was your last amend?" I whispered.

He kept his gaze focused on the book, shaking his head and opening the cover slowly. Inside was a bunch of crossed-off names, all different colors of pen littering every page. He flipped to the last page, it being almost empty except for one name.

Lucy Pierce

 My breath hitched in my throat, my heart suddenly pounding against my chest. "Me...?"

"I... wrote your name down while I was talking to Dr. Raynor..." He whispered, "because I had so much guilt... about how we ended things. About how I treated you."

My mouth fell agape as I stared at the words. I couldn't fathom that Bucky may have put my name down. Hell, this book hasn't even really come to mind until now. "You... wanted to make amends with me? Even before I contacted you?"

He nodded, looking down. "Yeah... You came up in conversation with Dr. Raynor a few months before we met. It was after you announced your relationship with John... and..." he cleared his throat, "I was... hurt... I guess."

I scoffed at that, cupping his cheek gently and stroking the skin with the pad of my thumb. "Well... lucky for you, Mr. Barnes..." I took the notebook out of his hand, and the pen in his opposite hand. "You've made amends. Not only that, but you gave me a new lease on life. A fresh start with an old 'friend'." I laughed.

Bucky chuckled, "Now isn't the time to friendzone, darling." 

A smile curled my lips, "I'm only joking with you... but seriously, Buck. You've more than proven that what you did was a mistake... but in a way, I think it helped us. To be away for a while. But, it always helps to fall right back into old habits." I crossed off my name on the worn page, shutting the book and handing it back to him. "Give it to Dr. Raynor. I think it'll be an easy, and impactful way to let her know you're okay."

He looked down at the closed book, wrapping the worn leather string around its covers, binding the pages together one last time. He put it in his back pocket. "Thank you."

"I should be the one thanking you, mister." I said, resting my hands on his chest. "Now... I say we go home, sit on the couch, and watch a sitcom. Like normal couples do."

He rolled his eyes, "I think we'd both get bored and fall asleep."

"Well, I wouldn't mind falling asleep if your arms are wrapped around me."