Guilty Love

31| Yours

I hit his chest lightly and we looked through the menu card in the meantime. 

"Sorry, I'm late." We looked up as he set down his bag, camera, and then sat in the booth himself. "I got caught up taking pictures..." His eyes came straight to mine. "Hi." 

"Hi," I mumbled. I glanced at his camera. "You finally did take that up, huh?" 

He nodded. "Look, I came to talk," he said, barely looking at Ronan. 

"Fine. Let's talk," I shrugged. 

"You're... together?" He looked between us. 

I nodded. 

"You said you'd never go back to him," he retorted. 

"I said I was angry at him for what he did and I would never go back to him if it was up to me." 

"It's completely up to you," he chuckled dryly. 

"But it's not," I retorted, "I love him." 

Jamie held my gaze, leaning back in his seat while drumming his fingers on the table. "You always had so much trouble saying that to me. It's all easy with him, huh?" 

"We had four years of practice, so..." Ronan shrugged. I sent him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes. They're both ignoring each other now. 

"You said you'd wait for me," Jamie said. 

"I didn't say that." 

"You did." 

"I didn't. You asked me right before you left. Your Dad was waiting in the car for you, you were in such a rush, Jamie. You asked me and I never got to answer because your Dad called you, you ran out, and you left." 

He thought for a minute before realization flickered across his face. 

"I never said I would wait for you," I repeated quietly. 

"Well... what would you have said?" he questioned. 

"I would have been honest." 

"And what's your honest answer?" 

"That I would have no problem waiting for you." I felt Ronan staring at me. "If he never came back," I nodded towards Ronan. I felt him ease up and relax beside me at my words. 

"But he did," Jamie scoffed, shaking his head sardonically. 

"Jamie." He held my gaze. "I was in love with him for four years. Hell, I was still in love with him all those years he wasn't here." 

"You hated him, London." 

"I hated him for what he did. But if I hated him, if I didn't love him, I would have told you I loved you even when I didn't. You can hate someone and love them the same, it's a fine line. I..." I suppressed a groan and took a minute to think. "You're a great guy and what we had was... nice. But I can't give up everything I have with Ronan for that. He loves me, I love him, and..." 

"You don't love me," he concluded, knowingly. 

"I'm not sorry for making this decision," I said right off the bat. "But I am sorry if it hurts you. You don't deserve it, you deserve so much better. I'm just not the one who can do that for you."