Help me FEEL/ JiKook Ff

Be a father

Jimin sighed as he took Arya out of the car, she was officially two months old, her schedule was basically regular, and he hadn't heard from Jungkook since the night he stopped by the house.

That was a month ago. 

He hated it. 

He hated feeling hopeless that he couldn't help his boyfriend realize everything he was missing with his own daughter. 

He carried her all the way up to the ICU to Sylvie's room. Just as expected, Jungkook sat by her bed with his hand on hers and his head down on his knees 

"Jungkook" Jungkook snapped his head around and his eyes widened as he stared at his boyfriend and daughter "here" he handed him a diaper bag packed with supplies "I'll be back in a few hours" he put Arya down on the bed beside her mother 

"Jimin, I -I can't have her here" 

"Take her home then" he shrugged "I'll be back" 

"No, wait. You can't leave"

"I have to. I love you, so much" his eyes watered "and I love Sylvie, and I especially love Arya but I'm not her father. You are. She needs at least some time with you. Not me, not Tae, and I need some time..by myself I guess" 

"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her here?" 

"Figure it out. Just like I've been figuring it out on my own the last two months!" 

"So what, you're just walking away now?"

"For a few hours. Yes" 

"You can't just leave her!" He shouted 

"Why the fuck not? You did! You haven't held her once! I have! I hold her every Goddamn day. I feed her, I bathe her, I rock her to sleep, I take her to the fucking grocery store, she needs a doctors appointment for her shots and I can't do that! You have to! She needs some time with her father not a fucking place holder. She isn't waking up kook. She's just not! And I don't mind helping you, I don't mind being by your side, but I need just a small fucking break. I think you owe me that much!" 

"I can't do this on my own!" 

"Do this on your own?" He scoffed and shook his head as he wiped a tear from his face "I'll be back in a few hours. I'm sure you'll manage being a father for a few hours" 

"Min, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"A few hours kook" he walked away, he held himself together until he made it out to his car, he couldn't stop the sobs and tears escaping him. He loved that little girl like his own. Has ever since Sylvie let him into her life. Loving her and taking care of her were the two easiest things he'd ever done in his life. 

But enough was enough. 

He needed Jungkook to understand. 

He didn't do much of anything with his own time. He drove to his apartment and grabbed more of his clothes and belongings, he checked his mail, got some groceries for Jungkook's house, and then sat on Jungkook's bed staring at the floor. 

Was it all really worth it? 

Jungkook stared at his little girl and felt himself start to break even more. 

He abandoned her. 
She was in good hands, Jimin loved her and took care of her, but he was right. Jungkook hadn't been a father. 

Didn't want to anymore if he was being honest with himself. 

He only wanted to be a father to help Sylvie. To be her support, to keep her and the baby away from Brian. But to take on all of the responsibilities? No. That wasn't part of his plan. He looked at his best friend and broke down in tears "I can't do this without you, you need to wake up Sylvie, please"