My roommate Luke

He's broken inside

Abby's POV

"Luke please stop! It's ok I'm here!" I said, feeling the tears burn my eyes. Watching him like this was hurting me. I griped his shoulders with my hands and nails and I pulled him forcefully back into my arms. He screamed with his eyes shut as he squirmed. "Luke I'm here!" I cried out.

"No! Go away! I hate you! I hate you! You left me Abby! You left me and pretended i wasn't even there!" Luke yelled out, yet with a broken voice wrapped around it. My heart split in two at his words. Luke was coming back to the old him, the one that was afraid to come out. Luke hated himself in the past because he was like a monster. He would yell at you until he calms down. And he would blame himself. It was heartbreaking but I lived through it. "You hate me, I hate me! Everyone hates me!" Luke yelled to himself.

"Luke please stop." I whimpered, not taking his words in personally. "I WANNA DIE!" He screamed. "LUKE PLEASE STOP I LOVE YOU!" I yelled while closing my eyes super tight, squeezing his hips with my legs and his stomach with my arms. I was hugging him as tight as I could. Suddenly he stopped, he stopped screaming and kicking. He was now still, but his body shook like crazy.

"I love you Luke, I'm here it's ok I'm here." I cried as I ran my hand through his hair softly. It was dead silent, the only sounds were his sobs and whimpers and my shushing. "I love you." I whispered in his ear as I felt my tears stream down my face. I hated seeing him like this, he hasn't acted like this in 2 years. And I was scared that it came back. I hade to do my best to push it away from him and make sure it leaves him for good.

"I'm here Luke, I'm gonna protect you. And I'll never leave you. I love you Luke." I whispered as I rocked him back and forth. His shaking body soon died down and he started to breath normally. His sobs turned into soft cries. "Abby?" He mumbled, slowly lifting up his head. Our eyes met, making my heart break at the sight. His eyes were blood shot and his cheeks were red and the sides of his ears were bleeding. "I'm here Luke, god I love you so much." I breathed as I rubbed his fore arm before pulling him into a hug.

He cried in my chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist and he laid on top of me as one arm was wrapped around his shoulders and my other hand was wrapped around his head. "I love you so much." I said while closing my eyes in relief. His monster left him. I felt tears stream down my face as he breathed on my neck. "I love you Abby." He whimpered as he squeezed my waist.

"It's ok, the monsters gone. Your safe." I soothed as I rubbed his back. "I'm, I'm scared it's, it's gonna come back." Luke whimpered. "No it's not, we got rid of it a long time ago remember? Your strong Luke, you fought it off 2 years ago." I said.

The real thing that was running wild in my head was what made him cry like this.

After rocking him back and forth slowly with my arms wrapped around him, I began to hum. I started to hum a lullaby as I closed my eyes and ran my hand through Luke's soft blonde hair. He was finally calming down. His body stopped shaking and his sniffles died down. He was breathing normally and he didn't make a single sound. I continued to hum the song as I slowly rocked him back and forth as he laid on me.

It was like holding a big baby. I smiled to myself as I looked down at Luke, remembering this feeling. I remembered hugging him this way after he would yell at me when he would break down. He was a mess when he had break downs. That's why he never wants to loose me, because I'm the only one in this world that can handle him and stay with him after all he's gone through. And the reason I have, is because I love him.

"Luke." I said as I looked at a wall as his left cheek was lying on my chest. "Hm?" He hummed as his eyes were closed. I could tell he enjoyed my hands exploring his soft hair. "Why were you crying like this?" I said in a cracked voice. I wanted to know the answer. I really did. And I was going to know, weather he liked it or not. It was silent for a while, and I could tell that he was unsure weather to bring it up or not. "I wanna know Luke, I promised you I would chase your problems away. I need to know Luke, your my best friend. Please tell me, I care, I care about all your feelings." I said as I began to now slightly rock him.