All in the Family

Chapter 183: Xenophilius Lovegood

Gosh I'm so excited to be almost done with this! We're getting down to the wire and double updates until completion!

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Remus woke up snuggled into Sirius' chest. There was a horrible, repetitive, clunking noise, and the place smelt strange. His clothes felt odd, he must be in the hospital garb and still dreaming...but he just burrowed his head in for another moment, as the vague memories from the night before started trickling in. He hadn't eaten, of that he was always sure of first thing, but the rest was very odd.

His side sort of hurt, he'd bitten himself at some point and it had been repaired from his own skin growing over. A voice he thought he should know, telling him quite an odd tale. A magic unexplained doe, Ron and Harry fighting... Had someone been trying to read Moony a bedtime story? Taking a deep breath, he started to pull back. Madam Pomfrey would be here any moment he was sure, and the Marauders had gone long enough avoiding her he wasn't going to let them start now just because his brain hadn't come back right this time.

Sirius' arms barely tightened around him in time, but still his rump went sliding off the couch and he ended up on the floor in between Srius' legs as he took in the place.

They seemed to be in a giant circular room, but this was nobody's office, more like a home and workspace smashed together. There were papers on every surface and very strange things he hadn't a care to identify right now. He was wearing a robe of brightest yellow at the foot of a squashy couch, a wrought-iron staircase running through the center of the room to a closed trapdoor in the ceiling, but nobody else was in sight.

"The others?" He slurred at once.

"You gave Prongs a good whack across the nose," Sirius admitted as he stared down at him with a frown, and his heart sunk it was the first real thing Padfoot had said to him since Godric's Hollow. His fault, he knew. A bloody collateral report wasn't what he'd been missing from having Sirius at his side. "Scratched me up a bit, nothing unbearable Moony. Interesting thing actually, there at the end. You could have ripped my throat out if you wanted to, you had me pinned down," he stopped and let his hand rest on his neck, fingers gently stroking a now familiar rhythm and waiting until Remus forced himself to at least breathe again before finishing calmly, "but you didn't. You only attack me when I provoke you, which I sometimes don't have a choice."

"Don't mistake love for instinct," he said hoarsely, eyes unfocused as he imagined the carnage. An animagus had no appeal to him, a fact only proven after their theory. He still couldn't believe they'd gone through with such a gamble. "I've almost killed you twice in the past. I'm not willing to see how far that can escalate if I'm not paying attention now."

Those gray eyes went to looking at the ceiling, but he kept his hand in place.

"I finally figured out what I was trying to say," he whispered, already fighting back the urge to keep the words in, but Sirius looked back at him at once. "You're not supposed to love me." He wasn't supposed to say yes, he'd never in his wildest dreams believed Sirius would really devote himself to one person, let alone him.

Padfoot looked beyond just exhausted. "Well now, that sounds like my decision."

He sighed and pressed his face back against the inside of his knee. That didn't feel like it would last right now. "And that's why you're an idiot, and I don't care how mad at me you get for saying it." Sirius could literally have anyone, he'd had it before all this, why pick him? He had virtually nothing to offer in return except a constant state of worry.

"I'm not mad at you Remus," he groaned, "I'm disappointed, there's a difference. I'm mad at myself I can't get through to you."

He sighed and grasped Padfoot's other hand, pulling it down to lean into his arm. Sirius at least hadn't turned back away yet. "Then let it go." Padfoot tugged restlessly at the hairs on the nape of his neck, other hand clasped his gently as his cheek rested on his soft sweater while keeping his nose pressed into Sirius's knee. He'd continue to wonder at this marvel, he'd live in this blissful wonderland until they were bunted free back to the real world and Sirius got tired of him, and Remus wouldn't fight him. At least they'd still be friends, of that he knew.