Loves Me Not

The Grass On the Other Side

Kang Sujin, aged eight, prompted by her father to learn more about foreign culture decides to watch a foreign movie. In it, she sees a woman playing a strange game with flowers. "He loves me, he loves me not." The woman chants in her language, plucking off a single petal at each statement. "He loves me," pluck, "He loves me not."

The flower reveals to the woman in the movie, that yes, he does indeed love her. And by the end of the movie, the woman lives happily ever after with her beloved. Curious, Kang Sujin decides to try the same thing.

The flower tells her he loves her.

All her life, Kang Sujin has been taught not to show emotion. "Women are weak because they're too emotional. You have to think rationally and not be so sensitive!" Her father always yells at her. But right now, she is young. She hasn't yet learned her lesson.

"Ew! Get away!" The boy, Park Youngsu, pushes her to the ground. He looks at her in disgust. She has just confessed her feelings to him. The flowers had given her courage to be honest with herself about her feelings for once. And Kang Sujin had taken the leap and confessed to a boy she liked.

It hasn't turned out as planned, however.

"I don't like you!" He yells. Sujin first looks like she's about to cry. But then something in her snaps and she gets a sudden urge to be mean. She knows that what she's about to do is wrong. But she feels so angry that she can't help it.

She gets up and yells, charging towards the boy. She pummels him to the ground, but he is bigger than her, and stronger. He rolls her over and starts hitting back. Before the children can really hurt each other, another boy arrives and pulls Kang Sujin back as she scrambles to get another hit on Youngsu.

"Stop it! Sujin-ah, stop! The teacher will punish you!"

Sujin stops struggling against Lee Suho's grip.

"She started it!" Youngsu tattles to Lee Suho, the most popular boy in school. The boy who only talks to Kang Sujin.

"Doesn't matter. Boys don't hit girls." Suho commands. Park Youngsu looks at the pair angrily but decides to leave.

"I had him." Sujin claims

"No, you didn't." Suho lets her go. He is tall for his age, but skinnier than Sujin.

Still dealing with residual anger from her rejection, Sujin punches Suho in the chest. Suho takes it but doesn't reciprocate. Sujin punches him again.

"Why won't you hit me?" She demands.

"Boys don't hit girls." Suho repeats. This is a strange concept to Sujin, because her father has never applied this philosophy with her. Suho's statement makes her want to cry and perhaps Suho sees this sentiment on her face, because he suddenly hugs Sujin. He is an eight year old. He doesn't yet realize what a gesture like that can do to a girl.

"I hate you." Sujin's voice is muffled in Suho's arms.

"No, you don't."

She laughs into his chest.

That is the day Kang Sujin decides that she will only follow Lee Suho, and no one else. She follows him to high school, even though her father wants her to attend a private, more prestigious institute. She follows him to work in his humble start-up, even though she has to leave behind a life in medical school. And she follows him to a new city, even though that would take her away from her newly divorced mother.

She follows Lee Suho wherever he goes, not realizing he isn't following her back.

The flowers warn her. They tell her again and again, that no, whoever he is, he doesn't love her. But Kang Sujin doesn't listen. Her heart wants what it wants. And it wants Lee Suho.