Loves Me Not

Nightmares Dressed Like Daydreams

At first he had thought, it was Sujin's absence that made him feel all strange that Monday. Sujin had been called away on an important business trip at the last minute, something she had informed Seojun of via text. Since the dinner with the Move employees, Seojun and Sujin had been terse with each other. Neither wanted to admit something was wrong. Both felt the other had something to apologize for.

But no, it wasn't that. Seojun could succinctly pinpoint the exact irritation he felt when he thought of Sujin. No, this strange feeling was something else. As if he had lost something big but forgotten what it was.

He thought it might have been overwork. His customers had increased stupendously and he was always swamped with flower orders. But no. Work only led to exhaustion. Not the feeling he felt when he was alone and felt like flinching as if something was about to hit him.

Perhaps if Seojun had figured out what his instincts had been trying to tell him, then maybe things would have ended up different. But as it was, Seojun couldn't predict that something horrible was going to happen. At least, not until he had that nightmare.

It was more of a memory, of a past long ago that he thought he had buried deep inside himself.

Han Seojun, aged sixteen, goofs around with his two best friends, Kim Changmin and Jung Seyeon. The boys are playing basketball while girls gather around the court and cheer them on.

"Look, Seojunnie's fan's have gathered." Changmin says, stealing the ball from Seyeon.

"I'm telling you, man. He's gonna be a star." Seyeon weakly pants as he chases after Changmin with a grin.

"Shut up! Both of you. I'm winning!" Seojun smirks. The other two boys look at each other and gang up on Seojun.

"Hey! Two against one isn't fair!" Seojun laughs. It's a sound that the present Han Seojun finds foreign and distant.

"Look! Its Mina." Someone from the court says.

All three boys turn to look at the beautiful girl with waxy pale skin, deep red lips and long, silky hair flowing down to her waist. She moves like a ballerina, carrying the painting kit and sketch book under one arm. Her fingertips are tinged in color from the paints and charcoal they work with all day. She is an elusive girl, a cold beauty, and someone all boys want to, but are too afraid to, talk to.

"Mark my words," Changmin says dreamily, "I will make that woman mine."

"Hey, Han Seojun."

Seojun is in class, catching some sleep before class starts. He's been working late because of his mother's illness but he doesn't want anyone to know. Only Changmin and Seyeon do. So everyone else thinks he is a good for nothing loser who sleeps in class and never submits his homework on time.

The person talking to him now is Mina. Her hair softly frames her oval face. Seojun gulps. But Seojun already has someone he is seeing. And Mina is off limits to him because of Changmin. But that doesn't mean the girl doesn't have an effect on him.

"I was wondering if I could draw you, sometime."

She's bold. Seojun thinks. He likes that in a woman. As a natural ladies man, Seojun understands the gentle nuances of women. He is sympathetic to the fact that women are forced to be docile and coy. His own girlfriend is like that. But he respects a woman who goes against that notion.

"No." He informs her, equally bold. And goes back to sleeping.

Mina scoffs. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Seojun says, his head still down, his eyes still closed. He hears the soft footsteps of Mina walking away and sighs. Kim Changmin owes him bigtime. He tells the boy as much.