His Baby

~ Chapter 32 ~

~ CHAPTER 32 ~

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"What is up with him!?" Scarlett asks and my eye linger at the door, where he just stood

"I don't know," I say and snuggle my baby close, I inhale her sweet baby scent and love how she snuggles into me and puts her head on my chest "Did you miss me, honey?" I ask

"Don't lie to me, T" she says

"I'm not lying," I say and sit down on the couch

"Tori, don't hold out on me" she replies and I feel her burn holes into the back of my head

"Stop Scar- just leave it," I say

"Okay, sorry," she says and I instantly feel guilty

"No I'm sorry," I say

"It's fine, completely fine" she replies and sits down on the couch next to me, flicking on the tv

I toss and turn for what I feel like is the tenth time that night. I turn over and over, rolling in the bed, changing my pillow trying to get comfortable, but I can't. I open one eye and Scarlett is fast asleep, her mouth is slightly ajar and I see a little dribble forming in her mouth.

"Scar" I whisper "Scar," I say again and she doesn't wake

I turn over and look at the baby, who is also fast asleep, drunk in her baby milk coma. She won't be awake until the morning. She almost sleeps fully through the night, and only wakes up once for a feed.

I decided to slip out of bed and into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, hopefully, that will soothe me. I stand over my empty cup playing with the teabag when I hear a bang and a crash. I look up instantly and my heart starts to race.

Everyone in my house is asleep. I hear another bang and I feel my heart jump to my throat. This is it. I am going to be murdered by a thug breaking into my house, leaving my daughter without a mother.

I hear footsteps and I grab a knife from behind me to defend myself. I hold the knife out and brace myself for the attacker to break through the door. The door crashes open and the person stumbles into it. To my surprise it is Jax. Jackson Shepherd, breaking into my house.

"What are you doing," I say and I put the knife down, growing at him, and he looks up at me shocked

"Heyyyy baby," He says yelling, falling into my arms

"Shhh, be quiet," I say, and I hold him upright

"Let's partyyyyy, you want to party," he says and he grabs my hands swinging me around

"Jax, the baby is asleep, the whole house is asleep"

"Oh right sorry," he says and he giggles whispering

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm glad to see you to honey," he says swaggering

"Are you drunk?"

"Nooooo," he says and he grins at me, his eyes bloodshot

"You are drunk," I say

"Just a little bit," he says and I see him hold his hands up to measure how 'drunk' he is

"Why are you here?"

"Can't I come to see my best friend"

"You can during the day" I deadpan and he stares at me before he captures me in a tight hug

"Your hair is so soft and pretty," he says

"You smell the same, like Vic, the old Vic, just maybe a bit like baby puke," he says and his nose scrunches. I laugh and sniff my arm.

"That's what happens when you have a baby Jax," I say

"I have missed you, you know," he says

"Yeah I know" I reply

"I don't think you do," he says

"No you don't Vic," he says and I feel the tension in his voice so I look up at him

"I missed you too," I say

"Really!?" he slurs and I smile at him from under my eyelashes

"Yes," I say and he goes silent

"You hurt me today Vicky" he says and I don't say anything  "I thought we had a good time, and then you said you wanted to forget it" he repliees

"But that was the best night of my life" he ads

"Im sorry Jax" I say 

"Don't apologise" he replies and I go silent again

"You know I really loved her," he says breaking the silence

"Oh," I say

"I was willing to give up everything for her, for the baby, for our future," he says aggressively "I did every single thing for her, I did everything I could," he says louder

"Hey, I understand," I say "But you have to be quieter," I say and he smiles and then he laughs

"I did everything I could for her to fuck me over," he says laughing more, and before I know it I am laughing with him

"I don't think she meant to hurt you," I say

"Yes she did Vic, she is a cold-hearted bitch" he replies, and I hear him burp, and he looks up at me, and before I know it he is stumbling to the main bathroom and he is vomiting in the toilet. I follow him and crouch down beside him

Once he stops vomiting, I hand him a towel and a glass of water. I walk him over to the spare bed and undo the covers as Jax follows me in. 

I hand him a bucket and help him get undressed. He stops for a minute, to cease the dizzy spells. Once he is undressed and under the covers, I kiss his cheek and move to leave the room

"Wait, can you stay?" I hear him ask groggily and I stop at the door

"Please?" I hear him ask again quieter, I turn back and he is curled into a ball

"Sure," I say and I walk back over to the bed. I slide into the bed next to him and he looks up at me and I see tears filling his eyes. I scoot over and he leans into me. I wait as he cries, and I feel the tears stream down his face dampening my shirt.

"It's okay, Jax," I say and I rock him back and forth, eventually he stops crying and I sigh

"Everything is going to be okay" I whisper to him

He lays his head back on my chest and I can feel him breathing. Slow deep breaths. I feel his inhale and his exhale, and I sigh. I feel the hum of this chest vibrate against mine. I feel our hearts beat in sync.

I love him. I have always loved him.

I close my eyes and feel his warm breath trace over my face, faint scents of liquor and peppermint rush past me. His clothes hit me next, vague smells of washing room detergent and flowers, his fabric softener. The kind his mum uses. I always loved that he smelt like flowers, he hated it and I think he was always teased by it.

But the smell of his laundry detergent, and his cologne is home for me. When I think of what is home, I think of him, his sweet scent, and his beautiful smiles. His bright green eyes. The magical, mystical green ours that our daughter has. He is my home, she is my home. They are my home.

My eyes flutter open and I look down at him, I admire his messy hair, the hair that is unkept and unruly just the way I like it, and his long black eyelashes, the ones I always dreamed of having. I watch him sleep, and I see the pain from the creases in his forehead.

The pain he is feeling, from her betrayal, my betrayal. I want to tell him everything. I want to scream how she hurt me, how she threatened me, and the things she said, but I know that it will make it worse. It'll be my biggest regret.

I finally fall asleep, and for the first time since I had Violet since Jax left me, I had a full night of sleep.

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